I was sat in the drivers seat of my courtesy car on a busy motorway junction. I had already been on the road since 7am, delivering IT equipment and helping our users set-up their bits and pieces at home, as we were closing the office that I worked out of, to move to homeworking. Myself and my colleague in the IT department had already been under immense stress and pressure from our equals, as well as upper management even more so, as we had to be out of our premises by the end of the week.
We had spent two months planning for how we were going to orchestrate the move from the office to homeworking. Not only was it a logistical nightmare, but for myself, it had sparked off an endless chain of anxiety, stress, and overall panic inside of me. What if I don't like homeworking, what if something goes wrong with my equipment, what if my boss doesn't believe that I'm working?
As I put the car into gear to pull off, I felt a pop go off somewhere inside of my head. I had never felt such an odd sensation in my life before. Maybe it was just my neck clicking? I had been sat in a funny position all day. I thought nothing more of it, and proceeded to my next drop off. Further on in the day, I just started feeling a bit off; Headachey and sore eyes namely. Again, I thought to myself, all natural. Considering what was happening around me, I thought that I was just coming to the end of my tether.
A week went by, and the headache that I had developed the day of my deliveries hadn't shifted. I had never suffered with headaches before, let alone one persistent, violent headache. The headache got worse, and eventually, I started to notice changes in my vision. I was struggling to walk in a straight line, and before I knew it, 2 weeks later, I had permanent double vision. My GP agreed to see me in person, as my Mum (who is a Nurse) had begged me to book an appointment. "Maybe it's just something to do with stress headaches", she tried to reassure me.
My GP had taken a reading of my blood pressure, which was through the roof. So much so, they asked me whether I had ever had a stroke. I had a neurological assesment, as well as a stroke assessment. I was prescribed propanolol (a beta-blocker) to combat the blood pressure and anxiety. I was also referred to Worcestershire Royal Hopsital for an MRI. The GP explained that "it is only a precautionary measure. Standard practice for these cases.", which put me at ease for the duration.
6 weeks had gone past, my headaches had eased, and I was so laid back, that I was horizontal. My MRI date had come through, and I was more nervous than I can even describe. I had never seen an MRI machine before, let alone know what 'MRI' stood for. The radiographers at the hospital were fantastic, and explained everything so throughly before I even set foot in the room. I remeber that the machine kept making me laugh, as it was making noises as if it was the drum beat in a techno song. My first experience in the scanner was fine, and I was really pleased with myself that I had plucked up the courage to go and get scanned.
I spent the next week going about my business as normal, just being my usual, carefree self. Summer was just starting to rev up - I was excited to be going away on holiday in my new tent, spending more time outside with the dog, walking and going on beautiful drives around the local countryside. I had a call from my GP 9 days after my scan."How are the headaches?" the GP enquired over the phone. "Yes, they're ok now! The tablets have really helped". I was hoping for good news from the GP, as you would.
This is the day that my life was genuinely tipped upside down. "The radiographer has found something on your scan. It looks like it's shadowing the back of your eye. They can't be sure of what it is, so you would have to be referred for another scan, this time, more in-depth.". I tried to keep it together for as long as I could. I can't remember anything else of the phone call apart from that sentence. I hung up and screamed. This was quite literally my worst nightmare come true. I immediately thought the worst; I couldn't be logical, or pragmatic about the news, which was strange for myself, as I'm usually calm and level-headed.
So now, I felt like I was living my life from scan date to scan date. I had never been unwell, never had any need to go to the doctor's, unless I was going abroad, and had to have some travel innoculations. I had never even had a blood test.
