It’s my birthday tomorrow. 58!

And I’m sat here at 2:32 in the morning contemplating what a difference a year makes. This time last year I was a very scared person. I was in pain and had a thousand and one thoughts about what was going on in my body to make me feel so dreadful.

One year on and now I know. I’m still scared but I understand what was happening. I’ve been through chemotherapy and major surgery and have come out the other side relatively intact (well minus the bits the surgeon removed). More to the point I’m looking forward. My son’s wedding in May, getting back to work (eventually) and I’ve even thought about next Christmas. Yes, there’s a lot that can change very quickly but I’ll worry about that if it happens.

I went to see my surgeon who performed my bowel surgery last week. Not something I was looking forward to but I was anxious about the histology results from the material he removed. Of the 18 lymph nodes they removed there were none that were cancerous. Positive news. He said that the secondary’s in my liver were due vascular invasion. It still means I have a problem to be dealt with but he seemed pleased.

Talking of which. I have healed remarkably well and Beryl, my stoma, is working well. Emptying and changing bags has become part of a routine. I’m still in the stage of trying out different bag types. There seems to be pros and cons with all the ones I’ve tried so far but with the help of my stoma nurse I’m sure we’ll decide on one soon. I’ve gradually started to reintroduce different foods into my diet. I’m sick of the sight of porridge and rice! Certain foods will have an affect but I can counter this with Loperamide (Imodium) which thickens the ‘output’. I’ve even had a few pieces of fruit and have managed to put a few pounds back on. I believe this has been the result of biscuits and buns, essential post-surgery foods.

The one thing I am having problems with is sleep. Any physical activity I find really draining and need to rest. I’m still having the occasional afternoon nap but it’s bedtime I find a problem. I will go to bed, usually around 10 or 11 and sleep like a log for about an hour or two. From then on the slightest thing will wake me up and I then struggle to get back to sleep, which is why I’m writing this in the wee small hours, for a good two or three hours. I don’t know why but there seems to be a pattern forming that I really need to stop. Perhaps I need to forget about the afternoon nap. We’ll see.

Further to my appointment with my bowel surgeon I have received an appointment to go to see the Liver specialist in Leicester. It came as a bit of a surprise as I thought there would be more of delay between my surgeries. I had another CT scan last Friday which was hastily arranged. It all seems to be going a bit fast. But I’m healing well and feeling well so bring it on. I’m not sure what the timetable will be. The appointment is Wednesday (my birthday),

I wonder what sort of present I’ll get?  I'll let you know.