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Where can you run when theres nowhere to hide

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Peaceful1

I awake with anxiety, I can't control it, it controls me; often I'm disappointed that I'm awake, because, I have a far better time whilst I'm asleep. Awake, I have to acknowledge all my fears, doubts & worries & I spend the day trying to run away from them but they are running with me.

You can't run from your problems when your problems are you!

Physical & mental illnesses challenge you constantly, they are with you always & quite often remind you of what you can't do. Many tell me to focus on what I can do instead, which is all well & good but not always practically helpful.

At this moment in time I'm struggling with both physical & mental illness so don't feel I have any reserve within me to help myself. My mind & body are struggling & neither have the ability to help the other.

I'm emotionally drained, physically exhausted & mentally tortured; I am desperate to be well & I do all I can to try to achieve this but healing can be a slow process; my body might enjoy the slow pace back to wellness but my mind doesn't. 

So where do I run when theres nowhere to hide!?!

Anonymous
  • <p>Hello</p> <p>I&#39;m exactly the same. I could have written all that word for word. I feel sleep is my only escape too.&nbsp;</p>
  • <p>I &nbsp;feel for you.I have a brain tumour GBM4 the worst one.I was given 6 months to live almost 5 years ago. The idea of me dying made me realise that i couldn&#39;t wait to live. I cashed in my pension bought a lil dog and a flat by the seaside and here I still am. Ive been left with a body that feels like the hard drive has been hit with a lump hammer &nbsp; and a big hole in my skull but life is goodish. My doctor is amazed at how good I am but thinks its my positive outlook.&nbsp;</p> <p>Don&#39;t misunderstand me, life is a struggle and sometimes I feel like I have to pour my psyche, personality, thoughts and positivity into this knackered off balance paralysed &nbsp;right side body and drag it around all day but they are few and far between now. lol</p>
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    <p>we all hide, we do not run because there is nowhere to go but we definitely all hide.</p> <p>this doesn&#39;t mean you are of a mental disposition or are mentally ill.</p> <p>it just means you are private</p> <p>we all try to reach out in some way when the going gets tough but needing help does not point to mental illness and being worried or concerned does not mean you are nuts either</p> <p>it is what it is and you are stronger than you feel right now.</p> <p>it shows in how you write your message</p> <p>sometimes it may all feel overpowering and you feel so het up, that you believe yourself to be mental but, you are not.</p> <p>you are strong and though your body may be weak, you found the strength to come here and talk about it.</p> <p>I like to think I am strong but I cannot do what you have done.</p> <p>remember, it hasn&#39;t beaten you until you let it.</p>
  • <p>Charlieandlola&nbsp;</p> <p>Thank you for taking the time to comment; I hope it helps you, as much as it does me, to know that we are not the only one experiencing this. I guess, that for now, sleep can be regarded as our safe, calm place that gives us the rest we need from the turmoil we face. I hope you can find some positive coping mechanisms to help you with your anxiety.&nbsp;</p> <p>I struggle but I take some strength from the small moments during my waking hours that calm me or make me smile, this can be something as simple as watching a garden bird singing. Before I sleep I try to remember all the tiny things during my day that were pleasant to see or listen to, I do this to try to stop myself going to sleep in too much of a negative state.</p> <p>Best wishes to you that some calmness will come your way x</p>
  • <p>Prettyfedup</p> <p>I admire you &amp; thank you for sharing. You must be an inspiration to many; you had to face what many could never even dream of having to face &amp; you continue to find the inner strength to cope even though it must be very tough. I really do hope that your home by the seaside &amp; the company of your dog brings you much comfort xx</p>
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