mally's blog

It has been a long, hard 10 days since Markus got out of hospital, for both of us. He has had such a bad time with breathing problems, in spite of oxygen, in spite of morphine and tranquillisers. Everyone has been very helpful, but it has been very difficult nevertheless. The mobile palliative care visited and adjusted his pain medication, and advised me not to leave him alone at all. Yesrterday I had to attend a computer…

The days after Markus's entry into hospital were black indeed. His temperature wouldn't go down, and his breathing became worse and worse.On the Wednesday follwing his admittance I had a call to come to the hospital as his breathing was so bad - they had tried to use bronchoscopy to clear his lungs, but it hadn't worked. Of course he didn't want them to call me, because he couldn't believe the situation was so bad. His…

Go softly, my dear one Go in the night as you sleep. Walk into your world of dreams and dream for ever, No fear, no pain, no nothing, Just a gentle last breath And a cloud of love will follow you My heart will go with you and surround you for ever.

Markus is back in hospital again. He had two horrific days of continuous nausea and difficulty breathing. The doctor came and gave him an injection, but he felt worse, not better. So I called the hospital, and they told me to bring him in. Markus, of course, wanted to go in our camper, as usual - he never wants to go anywhere without it. He also wanted to take his laptop and the associated kitchen sink - then agreed…

A strange peace has settled over the kitchen. The dishwasher only runs once every second day, instead of twice a day. The juicer is silent and has been for weeks. No pans are used, nothing is cooked. Only the electric kettle goes speedily about is business in a regular fashion - I need countless cups of coffee. The fridge is full - I've forgotten about half of what is in it. Lots of things that Markus said he might fancy…