HippyJo's blog

John and I got married at the Sue Ryder Hospice at Thorpe hall in Peterborough on Monday August 3rd. It was a beautiful, if somewhat hectic day as it was all arranged very quickly. Sadly, my beloved husband died the following day - John had pleurisy and was unable to continue fighting the cancer. John fought very bravely right until the end and Liam and I and John's family were with him when he died. The funeral was…

John is still in the hospice and receiving wonderful care. He has moments when he feels very down and this is what upsets me the most as he is normally very upbeat and positive - he now has a chest infection on top of everything else but he is determined to fight his way back to health. Trying desperately to hold myself together but feel worn down because John is suffering so much. Hope that he will be home soon so…

John had last chemo cycle yesterday and is not feeling well today. Fortunately, though, he is now in the care of the wonderful staff at Sue Ryder based at Thorpe Hall in Peterborough as the side effects of his teatment have been getting worse and he is really suffering. John has gone there for treatment to alleviate these and get him back on track - all he wants to do is stop being sick so that he can eat a full English…

Have had an awful week but feeling a little better today. John has been crying a great deal and was talking about dying and how scared he is - heartbreaking to see him like that as he is a very positive person. Chemo sickness getting him down as he seems to have it all the time now however it is John's sixth and last cycle next week so he is going in to a specialist unit on Monday for treatment to bring the side effects…

Feel so down today and wonder, as I have done so many times, why the Cancer Curse has struck. Life is so unfair - I look at John and cannot understand why he is suffering so much. The consultant has postponed for a week John's sixth - and last - chemo as side effects are taking their toll. Chemo should have been next week, will now be week after - John wanted this as he has been feeling so poorly. He is being sick…