Recovery from forehead flap nose reconstruction

Hi Yankeesmom,

Great to hear from you and hope so much that all is well with you.. best of luck for your surgery.. it’s 8am Friday morning here in the UK but not sure what time it will be with your time difference... another surgery but great that your surgeon is taking so much care to get things right... I’m home now from my second stage surgery and felt a little sorry for myself at first as really thought I’d notice a big difference when I saw myself but I’m all swollen and I looked like I had an uncooked sausage on my face... that being said things are settling down now and everyone says it’s a good result and a neat job.. I hope all goes well for you today.. please let us know how you get on.

Best wishes

Mackie x

Hi Penelope,

Aww it’s so good to hear from you and know you are home with your Mark and resting... wow... must be great to be rid of your pedicle.. I can’t imagine how that must feel right now as mine is still with me until the 14th February when I go in for my third operation to do whatever and detach it.. yes... can you believe it? Valentine’s Day!  I had a general anaesthetic but this time without the gas which made a massive difference and I wasn’t sick like last time at all which was a huge relief.. I really cannot imagine what it must have been like to have heard everything... goodness you’re brave!

As with you I had kind of hoped to have looked so much better than I do after the second stage but as my surgeon said my nose is swollen and should go down, I really hope it does. Mark says he can see what’s been done and can see a difference but I’m not really able to at the moment.  I also woke to find more staples in my forehead.. arrgghh I really dont like those but I’m back in on Monday to have them removed and I guess the few stitches I have.

It really did make such a difference to me too knowing we were going through this together and I too was thinking of you and sending you warm wishes from here... please also say a big hello to your Mark too... he sounds as wonderful as mine... lucky us!!  My eyes haven’t puffed up yet although it was about this time last time that they started to... it really helps hearing how you are right now as strangely I felt more emotional after surgery this time around because I think my expectations were high and a little unrealistic so close to post surgery.. also I think it suddenly hit me that I only have one big surgery left to get it all right which of course Isn’t really the case as they will keep doing little bits until they get it right.  I’m looking forward to sharing our experiences as we recover over the following weeks and really hope your eyes get better soon.. is your nose swollen too? Oh yes.. and the return of the delightful scabs.... have you a date for your next surgery.. fingers crossed it’s not on Valentines Day like me.. hopefully like me you are in bed and resting now.. take best care.

Best wishes

Mackie x

Hello dear Mackie; 

So wonderful hearing from you and that the surgery went well - and with no sickness!  That must have been terrible last time.   Valentines day for your next surgery??!!!  Oh boy that is weird timing.  Though given how wonderful your Mark is, I know there will be an abundance of love around you and that you will heal beautifully.  I will say that the removal of the pedicle is a huge relief to look forward to and though you have to wait a bit more for that, leaving it on is a real key to a positive outcome.  As much as I dreaded the pedicle, it is an amazing discovery that is giving us back our noses!  On some photos I've seen you can't even tell the person had it done (amazing).

I so value our healing together and meeting each other through this experience.  Like you I'm not a sedentary person so it is very helpful to know I'm not alone hanging out in bed feeling gross, swollen, and bruised.  Funny, as you also described, it is the next few days that seems to bring on the swelling. Today one of my eyes is even more swollen and a lovely shade of purple.  

I completely resonate with what you mentioned about feeling more emotional this time.  When I came out of the surgery I almost started crying (which I suppressed as I knew it would not be good for the wounds!).  It was a mixture of relief, a feeling of coming closer to the end, but also an acknowledgment of the tremendous stress that has been just under the surface.  I think there will be many stages of processing all this emotionally and it will take some time.  We will all be in it together, you, me and our two wonderful Marks!  I just want this to be the last of this for both of us for the rest of our lives....I am confident IT WILL!  

I do have some lovely stitches - some of which form a little triangle where my eyebrow was lifted back up into position (thank goodness!).  The other stitches are across my nose where eyeglasses would usually rest and where the pedicle used to be.   I get these all out next Wednesday (by my oncology dermatology surgeon who did the original Mohs as he is here in Montreal and the plastic surgeon is in Toronto...6 hours drive away).  Oh yes, yesterday morning we jumped in the car and drove home to Montreal from Toronto as there is a huge snow storm coming.  Not a lovely drive yesterday I must say....but good upright rest with little movement.  

The STAPLES!! Those horrid things; I'm so sorry they put some more in your scalp.  I have to say that I found that to be one of the worst things.  I so feel for you and I am relieved they will take them out Monday....phew!  I think they gave me a terrible head ache - I hope that you are not going through that.  When they took them out I swore like a rap artist having a bad day - the surgeon and Mark were amused by the range of expletives that issued forth from my mouth!  

I think my next round of surgery will be in about 2 months once things have settled in a bit.  Now I'm just trying to be optimistic about how I'll look until that time and thinking about making some fancy bandages for my physical return to work on January 22nd.  I hope I'll feel up to things.

I do hope you are getting some good rest and that the swelling isn't too annoying.   Send our well wishes to Mark also!  Mine is out now to get some healthful groceries to help the healing along.   My cousin is s plastic surgeon in the US and recommends a lot of blueberries!

Warm healing wishes to you Mackie xoxo!

Hey Penelope, 

How are you feeling today?  Hopefully you’re getting enough sleep and rest although I find that’s a little easier said than done at times with the constant oozing and discomfort... you did make me laugh in your last message when you said how it was getting your staples out... I’m so glad I’m not alone on that one... the thought of someone staple gunning my head just seems so bizarre to me but hey... there’s little about this whole process that is normal and, as my Mark has said, no one can ever truly know what we are experiencing unless they are going through it themselves...  the swelling on my nose is slowly going down but I think my expectations of the second stage were a little too high and I’m having to come to terms with what a long process this has to be to get the results we wish for...  my surgeon is nothing short of brilliant and I really do have every confidence in him and believe I will get my nose back... I’ve realised  that I really am quite rubbish at relaxing and taking things easy though.. right now I feel so drained but feel that I shouldn’t be feeling this way and keep feeling that I should be helping Mark more with things... do you feel drained and tired too or is it just me? 

Wow.. times passing fast and you’re back to work later this month.. will you keep your graft covered or uncovered?  Im sure by then your nose will be looking so much better especially with the pedicle removed... I’m not sure if I will be going back to work until I’ve had my pedicle removed.. the surgeon said that at the most I could maybe do admin tasks but certainly not teach a class of kids... My surgeon likes us to keep the graft uncovered and of course warm which isn’t ideal teaching sport... I’m seeing my surgeon on Monday and have questions to ask in terms of whether he will do anymore thinning etc during the next operation of just remove the pedicle and tidy things up? 

I really do hope you’re feeling ok and your bruising isn’t too bad.. how have you found your nose after the recent surgery? I whacked mine by accident this evening and it hurt quite a bit..  I really do appreciate being able to share things with you especially as we seem to be so similar in so many ways... how lucky we are to have our wonderful Marks... I mentioned what you said about blueberries to Mark and this morning he brought me a coffee, fresh fruit and a whole load of blueberries...  OmG!!! One more day until these damn staples are out of my head.. really can’t wait to be rid of them !!!

It’s been a bit of a funny day today and I’ve written this message throughout the day and so I apologise if it’s a bit fragmented... I’m sure I’ve got a big bruise about to appear over my left eye as it’s quite painful that side where the pedicle is which is making it hard to look at things for long... I’m hopeful of a better day tomorrow...

Sending you the very warmest of thoughts and best wishes  to you and your Mark.. 

Take best care 

Mackie xxx

Hi mackie and penelope

Sorry for the intrusion but I've been reading the conversations between the two of you for the past few weeks and I wanted to let you both know although it doesn't feel like it at the moment there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm 2 years post 1st operation (6th jan 2016) 2nd operation to remove my pedicle 15th feb 2016. I can tell you both that although at the time the process seems long and the rigorous cleaning, appying the gel, the constant dripping and dried blood, the touching the forehead and feeling it on the nose and vice versa, the pain if you catch it , the numbness.. oh the list is endless..... it is all worth it for the end result. 

People who don't know I've had surgery can't tell I've had anything done now unless I mention it. Apart from a faded scar on my forehead (which my fringe hides) and nose end (which just looks like a crease on the bridge) I look and feel completely normal. I was very conscious at the time and never went out of the house only for hospital appointments. I had a total of 8 weeks off work. My nose still feels slightly rubbery when I touch it but all the feeling is back there. I don't need to use cover up make up either because its hardly visible.  The only thing I can moan about is the area around the scars itch sometimes. The only thing I did after the pedicle was removed and the stitches out a week later was after I finished using the polyfax gel I continued putting vaseline on for a few weeks. Apparently it helps heal the skin and stops it from drying out too quick. 

I wish there was a way for me to post pictures for you both to see my before, during and after results so you can see for yourselves. 

I just wanted to share my experience with you both and to say how good it is that you've got each other going through the same thing at the same time. This site helped me very much during my process. 

Happy healing and keep your chins up it'll be worth it in the end. 

Take care 

Angie

Hello dear Mackie;  

Tomorrow is staples out day!!!  That will be a big relief as I think it releases some of the pressure.   I do hope it goes smoothly and that you have some good curse words ready :)  

I totally relate to that fatigue you mentioned.  It seems so strange as it comes over me in waves and I have to lay down.  I guess one of the upsides to the fatigue is that at least we don't have it in us to go for a long run or an ab workout right now.  The hard part will be when our energy returns and we are still not allowed to train (ugh....I know you get that!).   My dog is putting on weight and is quite pleased about it as he is rather lazy at heart and now he only goes out for short walks with Mark.  I know he is curious about what has happened but is relieved not be be hauled out for a 10 km every day!!!  

I too feel badly for my Mark doing so much to take care of me and the dog and the household things.  I know Mark has said that in the context of such helplessness it makes him feel good to be able to do things that help ....that makes me feel better.  We have some amazing men in our lives!  I know that once we feel all better we will be tending to them in return with loads of extra special TLC!

The parallels continue....I think I had expected some kind of magic after the last surgery.  And though it is much better and getting the pedicle off was fabulous I think I had some underlying fantasy that it would all be over.   So yes, there is some disappointment involved but that is understandable.  In time, perhaps slowly, but it will come.   I am so happy to hear that you have a fabulous surgeon.  It makes a world of difference knowing we are in good hands.  He does sound very thorough, conscientious, and brilliant.  Amazing work they do isn't it?  I also just adore my surgeon - I feel some strange emotional bond with him given how he has been so intimately involved in my life all of a sudden.  Someone we never knew before now sharing such a difficult part of our lives and being so deeply involved!  Very interesting.  Mark also feels so appreciative of him and the kindness he has shown us.  

I am excited to get my stitches out next week, but I'm also a bit afraid of how I'll manage at work the week after.  My patients have been very understanding about my absence (which is difficult for some of them) but it's been a long break.  Fortunately my work simply involves sitting in a chair with no physical movement.  If I had any other type of job I think I'd take another few weeks.  My face and facial expression however are a part of my work (as is my own emotional wellbeing) so I'm curious how that will be.  I recall from my last experience with my first BCC that I managed okay and was surprised by how well it went.  I find working so engaging that I am able to lose myself and focus on what I'm trained to do - I'll really be drawing on this professionalism in the weeks ahead.  I also have some wonderful colleagues who I can draw on for support in my work as needed.  All that said, I'm still anxious about the whole thing!  

I hope you take as much time as you can off from work.  There will be years of work ahead, always better not to go back too soon; especially given the active nature of your job.  Yes and the cold could not be good for the healing.  Is it very cold there?  I imagine it's quite damp also.  Our weather is crazy here as there is another cold snap with a wind chill today of -30 C!  No way I'm going out in that.

I've been observing the wonderful array of colours around my eyes. How are yours doing today? I hope they are feeling better.  My swelling is going down but now I have a green and yellow colour all around!!! Eek.  I also seem to get the antibiotic gel in my right eye which makes it very blurry and frustrating....not easy to see.  Are you also taking antibiotics?  I hate those things....kills my gut.

I am glad Mark brought you the blueberries!  I've been eating them like a bear.  According to my PS cousin all berries are excellent for the skin and healing; blueberries punch an extra punch of antioxidants and seem to be the superior berry :)  High protein, loads of fluids and vitamin C seem also to be important for healing.  I'm a big believer in "let food by thy medicine"!  He has been helpful in getting some of the "inside poop" on this cancer and reconstruction but even he was bewildered by how extensive it was as this is not common in "younger" people.  We are special cases I guess!

Again thank you so much for your support!  I love hearing about all your experiences and it is especially comforting being in such similar shoes.   I think even our cancers appeared in the same region - right side of the nose!! Gees.  

Back to bed with some more movies for me.  I hope your day is going okay and that you are getting some good healing rest.  Warmest regards and hellos to Mark also!  My Mark is supported from afar by your experience also!

Warmly, Penelope xoxox

Dear Angie;  

Wow!! Thank you so so much for your kind and thoughtful message.  Hearing about your experience is unbelievably helpful right now.  I'm sorry that you also endured cancer and the forehead flap reconstruction, but I am so comforted by knowing that it turned out so well.  Hard to believe it will ever look normal from where I am today but I'll keep your experience in my mind to hold onto.

I've given in to the idea of getting bangs now to cover the forehead scar and I'm coming around to it....thankfully they seem to be rather stylish right now!  (I had sworn off bangs about 5 years ago now I am convincing myself that they will look good on me!).  I appreciate your tips on how to deal with the whole thing.  Vaseline it is!!!  My surgeon also recommend that strongly.  I'll do anything and everything necessary to make it heal well.  So no camouflage makeup?  Wow, that's good because I'm terrible at applying make up!  Here's hoping I don't need it. 

Thanks again and I wish you a wonderful end of the weekend!

Warmly Penelope :) 

Hi again Peneloperae 

I suppose everyone will have a different experience with their surgeries ... I can only comment on mine which if I'm really honest wasn't as horrific as my face looked at the time. I described myself as looking like something off star trek although others had different names what I won't repeat lol. 

It's good to know there are groups like this to swap stories, experiences and healing tips to help others going through the same process. The Macmillan support network is 2nd to none. 

I didn't have any MOHS or any biopsies done beforehand just surgery to remove the bcc and the flap done then 5 weeks later I had the pedicle removed. I found the 2nd stage more sore than the first if I'm honest and I was scared that the graft wouldn't take without the supply of blood but thankfully it did. I regularly took paracetamol and ibuprofen so pain was minimal. 

My husband too was my rock.  He did everything while I was recovering and when he was at work my parents came and looked after me everyday. 

I found not being able to wash my hair properly at first the biggest pain with all the dried blood stuck in there but my neice came and showered me and washed it the best she could the first week after surgery ( I only have 1 son so he couldn't do it lol ) so I had plenty of support during my recovery. Sounds like both Mackie and yourself have the same amazing support too which is good.

Look forward to the future and being alive that's my motto now. 

Take care 

Angie 

Dear Angie,

Thank you so much for your inspirational message... yes.. I feel blessed to have found this website and to have met such lovely people such as yourself and of course Penelope and Yankeesmom.

It’s reassuring to hear of the light at the end of the tunnel and, although I have every faith in the process, you will know only too well that Ruth v those early months it can be hard to understand that you will ever look the same again so thank you for sharing your experiences with us.

Right now I feel not so great physically and I’m a little unsure why as I don’t remember feeling quite so awful at this stage after the last operation and am wondering whether It may be I’m about to go down with a bug or something..

Hooray for our wonderful partners.. I really can’t begin to say how grateful I am for all my partner has done for me and continues to do for me as this really would be horribly difficult to go through alone...

The nurses on my ward have said each time that they never see patients at the end of the process and I’ve spoken to my surgeon and daid that when this is all over and I’m where you’re at now I want to visit the ward again and, God willing, show those  coming out of the early stages just how it will be at the end to give them hope and the strength to  stay positive and keep going as I know that would really help me right now so thank you again for taking the time to write to us.

Funny.. I’m actually excited about going to the hospital tomorrow and getting these awful staples out.. 

I’m so happy to hear alls well with you now.. thank you again..

Best wishes

Mackie x. 

Aww bless you Angie...

lol.. the dreaded hair wash... I really should have washed my hair today but, as I keep morning about,  I’ve got a lovely Wonder Woman shaped bandage staples to my head that can’t get wet and I’ve decided to wait until it comes off tomorrow before I try. No wash my hair... Mark has helped me in the past but given his lack of hair, despite good intentions, he wasn’t too successful and so I ended up doing it myself.

It’s helped reading that you found the second stage more sore than the first and that you had people look after you as it helped me get how I feel now in perspective a bit.. as you may have read.. I’m not a great patient and can be quite hard on myself...,it’s been great sharing stories and experiences with Penelope as she seems very like minded and has helped me and my partner enormously...  I still have another surgery on Valentines Day to remove my pedicle which I’m sure will make a big difference!

Anyway.. thanks again

Best wishes

Mackie