Hi everyone,
my dad is 70 years old and has recently been diagnosed with ' high grade non-hodgkins diffuse b cell lymphoma'. He also has schizophrenia and anxiety and depression and lives alone. He doesn't want to go to any support groups and is a virtual recluse. He has been referred to a palliative care nurse and a macmillan nurse and also has a CPN. My brother see's him once a week and is his paid carer. He was told by the consultant that there is only a possibility that chemo would work and my dad refuses this treatment as he says it is a 'shot in the dark' and that he 'does not want toxins pumped into my body'. Unfortunately he has friends that had a lot of side effects from chemotherapy and thus refuses treatment.
As far as we know, there are no tumours and he thinks it is confined to the lymph gland, that has recently been removed. The consultant told him that he has a year to live if he doesn't have chemo. However, the GP has said it is slow growing and he may well have a lot longer than that. He dosn't know how much treatment he would need and for how long as he wouldn't discuss the options.
I live 300 miles away from my dad and am a single parent to 2 young children, thus I can't spend time with him like I would like to.
I am attending a lymphoma support group next mth and would like to hear other people's stories, positive and negative and different treatment options so that I can get a better idea of the condition, although I realise that everyone has a different journey.
Thank you so much x
Well done finding us, I will leave it open for some of the others to come along and give you some help as you have seen what I told you on your other post in the Carers Only Group xx
Good morning from a rather damp Inverness and I see some great information and support from John.
Most of the folks on this group will most likely not have the first hand experience with regards to how to deal with your dad. But as John says, blood cancer treatment is rather different from other cancers like prostate, bowel etc so your dad's mental picture of what this could be like has been tainted by 'other' folks stories.
Talking with a Haematologists would help, ensuring that they understand the issues your dad is having. As with John, I have meet many folks in their 70s who have went through treatment and are doing great.
Keep thinking this through, you may want to put a post to our Nurse Team in our ‘Ask an Expert’ section as they may have some suggestions as to how you can move this in a positive way.
((hugs))
Hi Sue, great update and congratulations on the clear scan.
After my second Stem Cell Transplant I had a node appear in my lung but it was checked out and is all ok so let’s look for your node to be ok.
I do like your outlook and you aim to overtake your mum. My mum is just about to turn 90, still in her own house and yes, still does the garden.
If we don’t plan to succeed we plan to fail xx
Totally agree, these 80/90 somethings are amazing and the mould was broken.
We will go down to see her today, stay overnight and come home tomorrow - it’s a 5hr round trip but it’s along the Moray Coastline so most likely see all the Dolphins and stop at Cullen for the best Cullen Skink ever...... you may have to Google that one lol.
We have part of Culloden Forest over our back fence so it a fight to keep it from encroaching into our garden but on the whole we are keeping it under control........ the great thing is we do have deer coming past every week so the granddaughters love it.
We can actually walk from the back of our house though the forest and arrive on the very atmospheric Culloden Battlefield where the famous 1746 battle happened.
Just last night my wife was making a comment that our kitchen is now 20 years old so I see a project coming round the corner.
Take care and keep on keeping on.
