Where to begin... I suppose one never expects one would need to join a cancer support group until it happens. I have had my mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy on Thursday but the radiologist is very sure it is cancer. She was just incredible. Straightforward and positive. Early stage and non life threatening are the words she used but I still feel numb and scared at times.
Going to see the general surgeon on Wednesday as well as get my biopsy results. I am preparing for it though as I will obviously be extremely relieved if it is benign but not very hopeful for that.
I am just thankful for the gift of the NHS and places like this where we can share and help carry the burden together.
Good evening ,
Well, in theory you have gone through one of the hardest parts..... the waiting is the hardest.
Have you thought of this...... if your surgeon got clear margins ..... you are now 'C' FREE.
It is such a crazy, strange roller coaster of a ride. Three, nearly 4 years on and I still can't type the word!
From hearing those words to where I am now.... well, it's a world apart. Its like we go from 'there is nothing for me' - to seeing how close friends can behave (I can count on one hand my close friends.... maybe 2 fingers - yet my life long friend was the one that surprised me the most.... she disappear off the face of the earth 
- friends for some 40+ years .... gone!! I didn't tell most of my family as I didn't want to become 'x' and then me.
Sorry, I have digressed..... well, Capazi.... what I would like to say is 'Congratulations' - very well done 
Please take it easy for the next few days, you must remember 'you have gone through a major operation' - you need time to recover.... you might feel good and I'm so pleased if you do - you do need time to recover. Now is the time most of this will sink in, before this time I would imagine you have been consumed by all that was going on and now .... that's it 'done' 
I hope by now you have drifted off to sleep - I'm not sure if you have seen the 'AWAKE' thread - this is a place we all tend to pop in and out of during both night and day (in fact the thread will be 4 years old on Thursday). Everything and anything is discussed in there, from problems to jokes, from worries to laughter. I'll try and add a link at the bottom of this post and if you to feel the evening dragging along pop in there and post - it shouldn't be to long before someone pops on and replies.
Again 'massive congratulations to you' - sending love and hugs.
Gail W xxx
Hopefully 'AWAKE' thread.....
Hi Gail
Thank you so much for your reply. I really hope we got clear margins!
Your comment 9n friends really touched me as 8 have experienced the same. Most just reply with a "you will be fine" and don't stop to consider the emotional and mental health impact of this diagnosis. I have been very sad q few times over the last few weeks because of that but i spouse some struggle to express their own emotions about it clearly.
I am not having a great night. Mostly because of a migraine but you are so right. I am a teacher and have stupidly looked at work emails!! I will have to force myself to switch off fr9m that and just focus on me for a change.
Lately I have been thinking what absolute legends women are who go through this! I have lost a few friends to cancer but so many have such stories of courage. With the sadness and disbelief I also feel a tinge of pride that I now too am a warrior!! I teach mostly girls and it is my mission to from here on out raise awareness about breast cancer amongst them!
Wendy
i shouldn't reply .... you need to rest.
It is only when you go through this you see and feel the 'throw away comments' - the 'you'll be fine'.... because actually, at the very start of this journey a) we don't believe this and b) we don't know - yes, its easy for the 'you'll be fine' - but it is like a dagger to the heart - they aren't actually 'thinking' how we truly are feeling.
One time I remember not long after diagnosis and waiting official biopsy result... I can remember going with hubby to get a bra and it was just like I was standing still (I was sort of walking) - but my movements all seemed in slow motion whilst everyone else was walking, pushing, rushing passed me..... I wanted to shout out 'do you know what's wrong with me.... do you know what I have' ...... I couldn't do it, I went and got back in the car and sat there for a while.
Once you are told those words 'you life has changed and will never be the same' - that person you was a split second ago as gone - it is the most cruelest feeling in the world - at that time we don't know about all these lovely people sitting hiding in our computers that have walked the steps before us, that can tell us we do have hope, we are the lucky ones - lucky ones..... because we are given a chance at life, to live life - with help and guidance from ladies and on here - that we will get through this, we will and these are the steps and lessons we learn along the way. I don't think any family member or friend could help me the way the ladies did on this site. I went from completely feeling alone to 'you do really understand' - 'you really do care about me' and they do - as I do for you .... because we understand it, we know that horrible feeling and now - now that you are found it is truly amazing, you will start to see all that others have said on here is true - yes we all heal different, we can have different side effects or we can be blessed to sail though - but what we know is 'there is someone on this site that will of gone through what we have and is there ready to help us.
You are already on the healing side - you last sentance it is your mission to from here on out raise awareness about breast cancer - just shows you how far you have come Well Done.
Most of all you know you aren't alone - you are part of the Fruit Loops hahaha and together we are stronger - the information between everyone on here is truly amazing.
Right young lady..... I'm off to bed now and more so, I hope you are fast asleep 
You are doing so well, take it one day at a time - just keep remembering 'you should actually now be 'C' free!! 
I hope this post makes sense - as I can feel my eyes going and my head went a long time ago hahaha
Sweet dreams zzz
Ps. Can you take something for the migraine - I reckon this is all the pent up stress and now this part is done - its your body say arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ..... maybe have some water, in fact, plenty of water you might be dehydrated with all that as gone one.
Definitely going now xxxxx
