Newly diagnosed - saying hello!

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Hi, 

In the last couple of months I've been diagnosed with colon cancer.. I've had bowel resection surgery already and am waiting for my first oncologist appointment to discuss biopsy results and next steps. I'm terrified. Is or has anyone else been in the same situation? I also have two children (12 and 14) and haven't told them yet which feels terribly right (no need for them to worry about it yet) and terrbily wrong (they have no idea why I'm acting so weird and I feel like I am lying to them). If anyone has any advice about this or just in general I would sooooooo appreciate it. My husband is great at crisis-management and organisation but not the nitty gritty of illness (he's extremely squeemish apart from everything else). 

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and thanks for having me in the group :) 

  • Deep breathing definitely helps :) And remember that this is the worst moment: the waiting part. Soon enough you'll be in surgery and the worst will be over. Then all you have to do is concentrate on rest and recovery. Lots of love and good luck - all will be well xx  

  • Thanks for your reply Scoutabout....I'm just starting to work on getting something done for my sleep anxiety, which rears it's head every time I get prolonged stress, which all this sure is! Beyond all this and into recovery, I'll hopefully get to a point where I can actually enjoy life again! I've been here since 7am, but the NHS are so busy, so a more waiting for now....bless you, and hope all goes well for you too xxx

  • Another lovely reply Nonetheless xx I'm finally trying to turn my negative outlook on life around....I WILL get through this and live a better life! Bless you as always, & upwards & onwards, xxx

  • Oh god yes the 7am check in and the wash stuff I have to use in the morning……..  It’s an early start.  

    Anxiety is a little devil but totally understandable. I hope you can get help with it.  A good nights sleep is not something that I take for granted but works wonders.  

    Xxxx

  • Unfortunately, due to some sort of delay, I'm still waiting, now maybe some time after 1:30pm, so 6.5hrs waiting at that time.....my heart is going to explode out of my chest at this rate...x

  • Thinking of you!! Kissing heart

  • Oh no.  I was just thinking you’d probably be in there by now.  I was warned that the afternoon patients get quite anxious.  Please tell me you at least have a bed to lay on?  Heart️

  • Hi there, I’m with you on telling younger children as late as possible. My op should be in the new week or so as I’ve had my pre op now. Awaiting a high anterior reaction. We told my older 3 who are 25,20 and 17 when I was diagnosed earlier this month but, my 12 year old I will tell just before I go in for surgery. Sending hugs and strength your way :) 

  • Hello and thanks for sharing your experience! I've only been on this forum for 2 days and im already finding it to be such a help!! 

    I've found out today that I should have 6 months of chemotherapy starting in Jan just to make sure that no lingering cancerous cells remain and so have decided to tell the kids later today. I will be so relieved to share it with them!! 

    Best of luck with your surgery and let us know how you get on : )

  • Hi  Wave 

    Sorry to hear about the challenges that you are facing. I’m slightly early in my journey in that I’m having my bowel op next week.

    My kids are older…21 & 17. I had to tell them, because I knew they would pick it up. Kids are so instinctive, aren’t they?

    I spoke to the MacMillan advisor, she mentioned that the benefits of telling children is that it takes the ‘pretending’ pressure off the patient & allows time for kids to digest the information in its early stages. 

    I think it varies case-by-case, family-by-family.

    I was surprised how calm my kids were when I broke the news over the weekend. They have been incredibly supportive. On the Monday, I wrote to my daughter’s uni & son’s college, and they both have been amazing- put mentors in place for them, access to counselling, regular catch-ups with the Head Master/Course Director

    If I hadn’t told them, they would never have got these extra arms of support from school/uni.

    I then realised that this as much their journey, as it is mine. 

    This way, they have had a chance to ask all the questions, and I can cuddle them a lot more (with minimal teenage resistance).

    I wish you the best of luck & I’m sending you loads of positive & supportive vibes your way!!!