Hi Everyone

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Hi. I’ve was told I have Bowel Cancer on Monday (15th Jan) after a colonoscopy. Still waiting for biopsy results to make it official, but I’ve already had a CT booked for this Sunday to check the stage and whether it’s spread.

I’m 44 and I’ve got two amazing kids (8 & 5), and I have to admit I’m terrified for them. My wife is being amazing, but I’m scared for her too. I’ve told family and friends, and that felt really cathartic, but we’re planning to tell the kids tomorrow and that’s going to break my heart.

Dealing with the uncertainty is tough, I’m sure in not the first to imagine all the worst case scenarios, but they’re hard to shake - especially in the small hours like now. Every twinge and pain is a sign it’s spread somewhere.

Wishing everyone else on here the best.

Rich

RichN over 1 year ago

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to share an update. After the MDT meeting the colorectal nurse called me and gave me the good news that there is no spread. My radiological grading is T3 N1 M0, and my understanding is that the N1 is presumptive as the local lymph nodes are inflamed but they are not sure if that is the Cancer or just a response to the body feeling under attack in that area. Full staging post op.

I have the full meeting to discuss results / treatment next Tuesday, but the fact there is no spread is a big relief - for 24 hours I felt like I'd beaten this thing already, which I know really isn't true, but if it was nice to feel super positive for a time. I've come down to earth a bit now, but still so much better than I was feeling last week. Realise I'm repeating myself but thank you so much to everyone who sent me messages of support, reassurance and kindness - it really did help me through the darkest week of my life.

From what I know the op will be scheduled for March (seems a long wait to me?) and once they have checked the Lymph nodes they have removed will decided whether they recommend a course of Chemo.

All the best to all of you.

Rich

Kareno62 over 1 year ago in reply to RichN

Hi RichN Yes that’s good news and I remember feeling exactly the same! I’m glad the dark clouds have lifted a bit so try to keep up the exercise and mindfulness and it will get you in good shape for the next step which will be getting that tumour in the bin.

Take care

Karen x

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

DlFarmgirl over 1 year ago

Hi Rich, my husband is 3/4 way through his capox chemotherapy following a ruptured bowel emergency surgery and stoma formation. My piece of advice for you and your family is to be totally honest and transparent with each other.

We have 4 adult children and grandchildren and we have all agreed that we will say how we are feeling and what our worries are without worrying that it will upset my husband. This has given us freedom to gave a cry and get comforted without squashing feelings down trying to be brave for the person going through the treatment.

We have all found that after a bad day if we allow the tears or anger we always feel better the next day. It's also healthy for your children to see you or your wife get upset because it allows them permission to express emotions freely.

Be as honest as you can with your children because they are super resilient far more than we adults are. The most frightening thing for children is whispers and to feel like things are being hidden from them.

I hope you get a straightforward plan moving forward and that you get through this together.

Take care ♡