Hi I’m Clare , mother of a teenager and 10 year old who both also adore my dad .
my dad only told me of his diagnosis a few days before he went in for surgery and a stoma bag fitted . He was doing well the stoma was working and was due to come home on morphine ..... then his bowel that’s left “went to sleep” and he’s been vomiting and will be in longer , he’s not well now when he had been sounding really great .
MY Mum is allowed in for 1 hour a day and doesn’t really do emotions and isn’t a great communicator and is obviously stressed and terrified, and is isolating .
We still don’t know what stage his cancer is , whether it is in lymph’s , he’s been unwell on and off with bouts of fatigue prior to this although he worked full time and trains and teaches martial arts prior to pandemic .
He loads iron his ferritin is always high linked to hemochromotosis .
Im so stressed I’m estranged from my mentally unwell brother .
does anyone know if I’m allowed to speak to any of the staff at the hospital? As I can’t visit ?
my Dad was texting etc prior to his bowel “going to sleep “ I don’t want to hound him when he’s trying to heal .
he’s in lister hospital in Stevenage?
any advice would be great . I haven’t told my children yet , they know bowel surgery problem but didn’t want to use the “c “ word until we know stage and if he needs treatment. Apparently the surgeon was hopeful he wouldn’t need chemo etc but my dad worries about me and my well-being and tends to sugar coat things .
thanks in advance
