My experience with T3N1 colorectal cancer at 35.. hope it helps someone who is starting their journey

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Hi all.. I just wanted to try and give some reassurance if possible to those out there going through colorectal cancer. At the start of my journey I kept coming here just to read and find out information and other peoples experiences and it helped get me through so I hope I can do the same for someone else.

Background - I am a very fit and healthy 35 year old woman with two children. I have always lived and maintained a healthy lifestyle, exercise, non-smoker, rarely drink, well educated on ultra processed foods, what goes into our bodies etc and I also have absolutely no history of cancer in my family. So to find out I had stage 3 cancer was the shock of my life as I felt I always did the ‘right’ things to avoid such health problems!!! And I always thought if it did happen I’d be a lot older.

I found it sad to hear from the nurses that bowel cancer rates for younger age groups are rising quickly.

I feel as though I just woke up one day with every symptom and no warning sign. I had a colonoscopy and could clearly see the tumour. I had a brilliant consultant who was honest with me that day and said she could tell by looking at it this was cancer. The next week was full of MRI/CT/Bloods/talking to cancer nurses etc. unfortunately the following week was Christmas which was probably the toughest time as we had no clear answers other than knowing it was cancer and no-one to talk to. That week all I could think was, will I die? I was trying to give my children a good Christmas but also sobbing as I cooked. I can say that waiting is 100% one of the hardest parts and can make you feel like you’re going crazy.

Having young children and cancer is very hard but it also helps keep you in routine and a reason to get up in the morning when you feel low. So even though there are some super hard days where parenting feels really difficult, children help keep things normal and in a way get you through. I feel like I kept going for them.

They initially thought stage 1 but due to the size of the tumour being a few cm it couldn’t come out via colonoscopy and had to be a bowel resection. I cried a lot when my children and husband left before I went in for surgery. But the kindness and compassion of everyone - consultants, nurses and even the tea man was incredible. There are some amazing people out there who are meant to do these jobs!!

Surgery was 8 hours, the first few days were hard but getting up and moving was the best thing to do. I am glad to say I had great care in the hospital.

After the op they said it has actually gone further than they thought to the bowel wall, they tested the tumour and surrounding tissues and found it in a lymph node so this made the official diagnose stage 3 (T3N1). Because of my age I was advised 4 rounds of IV chemo and tablets (Xelox). This scared me more than the operation.

Chemo wasn’t easy and I suffered with nausea very badly. But on day 4 of the first round I called and said I can’t cope and I had a brilliant lady who put me straight onto stronger nausea meds and this changed everything for me. I felt like I could function again. So please do not suffer, if you can’t cope tell them. It made each cycle more tolerable. The neuropathy was not fun. Make sure you have multiple pairs of gloves, a snood and for the IV I took a hot water bottle to keep my arm warm as the IV for this chemo was very cold. They recommended I do this and it really helped. Room temperature drinks were still too cold so warm apple juice or warm squash for about 5 days did the trick.

I did see some women in forums asking about hair and nails etc (and too right - we still should be caring about ourselves!!). I found having gel nails was fine (I was worried my nails would fall off!!) and I didn’t have any hair loss. I just took it easy in terms of letting my hair dry naturally rather than lots of hot hair tools etc. Of course this can be different for everyone but I did notice people asking this sometimes and a little self care always helps!! My skin was drier but I used Aveeno as it’s oatmeal based and more natural and this helped.

Fast forward I’ve just finished the last of the chemo about 2 weeks ago and I’m feeling good (just very tired still). I was terrified how this was all going to be. I was even embarrassed to tell some people I had cancer (not sure why I just did).

I try to tell my friends don’t think you’re ever too young, fit and healthy - this can happen to any of us. But I do believe not delaying and going to the GP asap saved me.  And my children kept me going.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, just think small steps and not too far ahead.

Sometimes there is no ‘why’. I think we all want to know ‘why’. So if you have found yourself in a situation like mine.. just try and take baby steps. Don’t think about everything coming up - just get to the next appointment - and don’t put pressure on yourself and don’t feel the need to explain everything to everyone. You need to put yourself first.

I wish everyone all the best on their journey xxx

  • Hi DevonDan, Appreciating your worry, but I am sure you will be guided and reassured by the medical team. I had a large stage 3 colon tumour which was removed by surgery (with the caecum colon and quite a number of lymph nodes). Followed by about 6 Capox chemo treatments. I was in my late 70s. It was not too bad and I kept reasonably active, especially walking and gentle aerobics.An easy small meals diet will be advised. Chew well! Keep a good record of dates,what etc - a spreadsheet helps top see and recall clearly as you progress. I was DPD deficient so that I had a reduced Capox dosage. I presume you will be checked for DPD deficiency - it is important. Am now pretty fit and active 12 months later. Try not to worry and take it easy as you go day by day. All the best. Anbou

  • Hi Daniel,

    Sorry to hear you are going through this too. Your situation sounds very similar. My husband is also EMVI+ and additionally CRM+ so pretty much as advanced as it gets without having spread to other organs. He just had his mid chemo CT scan and continues to be free of distal disease so we are still holding on to the hope after all the treatment and probably major surgery too he’ll be cancer free.

    I’m not going to lie it has been an emotional rollercoaster over the last few months and we definitely both have our bad days. It’s hard not to worry about the future and trying to support my husband as he goes through chemo while also trying to keep everything as normal as possible at home is exhausting. But overall I think the treatment has not been as bad as we feared. He is still managing to work albeit with reduced hours and our experience with the radiology and oncology teams has been great. 

    Obviously everyone’s experience can be quite different in terms of side effects so I can only comment on my husband’s case. For him the chemoradiotherapy was fairly uneventful. He found lying there with a full bladder somewhat unpleasant and got some local soreness due to skin damage from the radiation for which he got some specific cream from one of the radiation nurses. Mostly though the main side effect was tiredness which built up over the 5 weeks. At its worst he couldn’t manage more than an hour or 2 out with the kids but he got very good at the Power Nap!

    With the oxaliplatin he has some cold sensitivity but it hasn’t been too bad. It also hasn’t got any worse as we’ve gone through the cycles either. He has gloves to handle anything cold and drinks warm drinks for the first few days. He had first bite syndrome the first cycle but that only lasted a day or 2. He does find the cold affects his eyes a bit so wearing sunglasses if there is a cold wind has been helpful.

    He has had some nausea with the chemo but that has mostly been kept under control with the anti-nausea medication. He finds it useful if he is feeling a little queasy towards the end of the day to take it at least half an hour before dinner so that he can stomach eating. His appetite is definitely reduced and he says food tastes far more bland. He’s lost 2kg over the last couple of months so we’ve been trying to find ways to help him eat more - more small meals does seem to help.

    One thing we didn’t expect was that he had terrible stomach cramps 2 days after his first infusion and he ended up having to call the emergency helpline. We worked out in the end that the anti-nausea meds were causing him some constipation and that was causing the issues. So now he takes laxatives from day 1 to 3 to counteract that (he uses over the counter ones from the supermarket as the ones he gets from the nurse don’t seem as effective for him).

    But for my husband at least extreme tiredness which is getting progressively worse with the cycles is the main side effect (he is currently on cycle 4 of 6). He takes an afternoon nap most days and goes to bed early. And then has had the odd day off work where he just sleeps most of the day. 

    In terms of going through chemo with kids around. My husband is extra careful around them now that his neutrophil levels are low. He doesn’t do things like brush their teeth or snuggle in bed next to their snotty pillows to read their bedtime stories. We also have him use a separate bathroom since he will be excreting a lot of cytotoxic drugs and we don’t want to expose them.

    This has turned into a very long post! But I know I found it helpful to read of other people’s experiences before heading into the treatment to have some idea of what to expect so hopefully this will be helpful to you and others. If you have any specific questions let me know and keep in touch.

    Best of luck with treatment and fingers crossed for a good response.

  • Bit of a quickie to you Scientist, that might help you and your husband.  It sounds like he is on the same journey that I took with needing the laxatives (senna) for 4/5 days after infusions, but at cycle 4 I was just pooing water by day 7 - anything I drank just came straight out.  Massive doses of immodian did nothing and I worried I'd be admitted to hospital with extreme diarrhea as fluids were not staying in and I was going downhill.   Not where you want to be with reduced immunity!     Anyway, I luckily flagged the start of it at my number 4 infusion - they prescribed me codeine, which was an absolute game changer and zonked me into good sleep and bunged me up.     I also got some dioralyte powders (available in supermarkets) as my potassium levels were really low, but the doctors wanted me to control that by diet, which is OK if you can keep anything down/in and I couldn't.    I felt so much better after drinking those and having the codeine.  i'd recommend having some dioralyte around. The last two chemo rounds were the hardest and I couldn't even walk after the infusions. 

    Hope this helps - hopefully he won't need it - but worth putting it out there as I had no idea!

    Impressed he is still working, I'm still not back to work as the fatigue just got too much and the neuropathy kicked in 3 months after chemo ended.  I'm still here though :)

    Much love to you both.

    Zx

  • Thanks Arsey!

    Keeping on top of the digestive issues is such a juggling act isn’t it as things really can swing from one extreme to the other. I know hubby has Imodium in his bag of tricks they give him each time which he hasn’t had to use yet. But good to know there are other options if that isn’t working.

    I’m bracing myself for the worst over the next few weeks. But we’ll get through it somehow. Just keeping everything crossed we can keep him on schedule and get him finished with chemo before Christmas. Then hopefully mentally reset before surgery.

    Sorry to hear you are still suffering the side-effects. Is the fatigue getting any better? I am worried his symptoms may linger long after the end of treatment. I keep trying to warn my husband that he shouldn’t assume he’ll be back to normal any time soon! But he likes to stay positive and I have enough negativity for the two of us so that’s probably for the best!

  • Thank you very helpful and positive. I wish you all the best 

  • Hi Pennyshouse 

    Firstly I hope your feeling well and are still feeling as positive as you sounded.

    If I may add my cancer care to your feed.

    July 1st 2023 i had no symptoms at all. Hadn't been to the toilet in 4 days so called 999. The ambulance took me to hospital and I went for a CT Scan, with me thinking it was just wind or at worst appendicitis. But oh no the surgeon came in my room with another chap telling me it was something more sinister. That was the beginning of my cancer journey.

    On the 4th July I went into surgery and they removed 6ft of bowel including my apendix (at least I'll never get appendicitis), 7 hours later I came round and surgery was a success to my relief. Spent another 2 weeks in hospital recovering, had some bad,low days but everyone, yes including the lovely tea ladies were absolutely superb, so lovely, compassion and supportive. Anyway on coming home the colon specialist called me and give me my results, Colon Cancer stage 3 T4N1 but luckily hadn't pretruded through the main bowel sack. They decided I must have chemotherapy due to the staging of the cancer. 8 Rounds of CAPOX , oxaliplatin and capcetabatine. I struggled badly with the cold part and the sickness but after asking for different sickness medication it was bearable. All the staff were diamonds. Every 3 weeks asking me if I had any issues or side effects, now then if I had said yes I knew my dose would have been reduced so I said no every time. Anyway to cut a long story short hahaha I now have CIPN. It's fairly bad. I can't feel my feet at all. Can't hold anything cold. I constantly drop things, it's a nightmare but like my oncologist said to me I was happy to put up with the toxicity to prevent the cancer returning. I don't even know if I'm wearing socks or shoes. Have to walk with a stick now and have hand rails everywhere. I'm only 52 so feel like an old fella now but like I say to everyone around me all this is just a small part of my cancer journey and the outcome is far better than the alternative. I'm happy my brilliant surgeon told me the cancer has gone and my 1st scan and blood tests showed nothing visible. So 18 months later I'm still here, ok I'm now slightly disabled but I'm here to tell the tale. 

    And that's my cancer journey.. I hope it's the last one.

    Wishing you and everyone else on their own personal cancer journey all the very best xxx

    Pray

  • Chris S.   The CIPN is a bugger.   Mine came on after chemo had finished and I had had my dose reduced during chemo and still ended up not being able to walk after the last 2 cycles, just for a few hours after infusion with soreness persisting for a few days.     No one seemed concerned about that.       

    It is worse in my feet than my hands and if I have to get on the floor (I can't kneel,it hurts, think there is lower leg weakness) then I can't get up.     I have tried so many things, but guess I need to stay patient and walk as much as possible (on the flat, with a stick).      I ended up with a pair of Crocs as my feet were swelling up sooo much they were the only shoes I could get on.   They (Crocs) have little spikey bits in them to massage the soles of your feet.   I find these really great as I can feel them and they stimulate sensation and probably circulation.    I'm not giving up on getting some feeling back, even if my oncologist has said I might get some improvement in 3 years, but I might not.    

    Last week I suddenly found I could feel my socks under my feet, just for the day, the sensation went again the following day.   I have no idea what triggers good days or bad days, but give the Crocs a go if you can find some cheap ones.  I really like feeling the little spikes, even if I can't feel my feet.  

    Keep on keeping on :) xxx

     

  • Still fatigued.   Am trying to get my employers to let me have ill health retirement as I can't stand the thought of trying to work in a stressful job again, although I will miss having a wage - it was never well paid, but better than nothing coming in, which is where I am now.  I wish employers were more aware and supportive. 
    Hope you two are doing OK x

  • That's a great saying. It's all we can do.. keep on keeping on xxx

    All we can do is live in hope that one day it eases but if it doesn't it doesn't.. we have to learn to live with what we have and keep on smiling, even if we can't get up off the floor or put our own socks on anymore xxx

  • I'm like Harry Enfield's 'poor Lulu' with my arms out, hoping to be picked up from the floor or grass or where ever I end up on the ground in an ungraceful way.    I've worked out where all my 'get off the ground' places are in the house, including the bottom of the stairs where I can easily drag myself up.    Such a feeling of success when I get to upright again!

    Oh that joy of putting on our own socks -   who knew that was a thing?  Toe infection inspections are essential as you don't feel them.


    Also had to chuckle at attempting to do a coast path walk in the summer on 2 sticks with partner shoving me up the path from behind and then total strangers grabbing a hand to pull me up.     The kindness of folk/strangers is so touching.   Took ages, but did it and it was wonderful.