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Hi all , 

This is likely to be my last post, 11.55pm on Tuesday 15th of December 2020, my wonderful, loving husband lost his brave fight to this wicked  cruel disease,  he passed away peacefully while I held his hand for the very last time, we keep all his wishes, he passes away peacefully at home, this has been the longest 24hrs, and I still feel very numb,but I promised I would be as strong as I could , and I would  carry on for our children and for his memory,  I'm nit sure were I will end up, but day by day I belive us the only way.

My poor brave hubby, was diagnosed on March 20th 2020 with esophageal cancer, with spinal metastases to c4 and to,left rib and gastric  nodes, he did 3 rounds of his first line treatment and her2 positive and had herceptine,  but the fatigue was something he couldn't bear, also had inflammation of kidney,  had a further 2 cycles of just herceptine, after scan all cancers has progressed also found on liver,had one cycle of second line treatment but had inflammation of lungs,so had to stop to improve lungs, he had 4 four weeks of a scan and we were told 5 to 6 weeks ago was told no further treatments,  he became weaker and weaker,  had a full and hurt his left arm, never came down stairs again, he was brave and fought to the very end, oddly i am do proud to be his wife. 

Sleep well Michael 26/08/1961 to 15/12/2020 

Loved then,love you still, love you now always will xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Sal,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

    So happy for you that your loving hubby had you holding his hand and that he passed peacefully. I guess there are just not the words anyone can say right now.

    Take each day as it comes and make sure you are kind to yourself. I hope you and your family have a lot of support to draw from. Sending you hugs and loving and caring thoughts. 

    Take care of yourself xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Sal1,

    I do recall some of your previous posts on this group to which I have replied before, and felt that now more than ever I needed to reply again.

    My husband passed away a week ago today (around this exact time in fact). I don’t know how we have got through this week already but somehow we have, although bruised, battered and a little sadder without him.

    When you feel ready please come and join the Bereaved Spouses group. I joined the day he died as I needed to vent my pain, people responded within hours and I personally find it such a comfort to hear back from such understanding people who have been exactly where we are right now.

    I am so so sorry for your loss. I won’t add any of the usual comments you might get about them not being in pain as I’m sure that will be no comfort to you right now, it certainly wasn’t to me. I just want my hubby back.

    x

  • oh Sal1, I'm sorry for your loss. Sending you love and light and Hugs

    Wee Me xx

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • Hi bramblejoo, so sorry for your loss. Sending love and light and hugs

    Wee Me xx

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Wee Me

    Thanks Wee Me, I do hope your husband is doing as well as possible with his treatment, keep hoping for a miracle and never give up. X

  • Dear Sal1

     i am heartbroken to read this.... i have followed your posts closely since i joined this site... I offer my sincere condolences ... My thoughts are with you at this time,

    Lowe'

    Call the helpline for free on 08088080000, 8am to 8pm everyday.
    Tomorrow is not promised but it always has potential. Aim for your potential!
  • Hi bramblejoo 

    Im sorry to hear of your sad loss sends hugs x

  • Hi lowedal 

    Thank you for your kind words, 10 months from diagnosis to now, I guess we wished, we hoped that we had had longer,I keep my promise Michael passed away at home while I held his hand for the last time.

    Sal1

  • There are no words that I can say but know I cry for you, I’m so sorry x

  • Bramblejoo 

    I have read a few of your posts and know how difficult life has been. I am really sorry for your loss. Words probably don’t mean much at this time.

    Take care of yourself 

    Milie x