Hi, my Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer on Friday last week, it’s spread to his lungs, liver and colon. He was admitted last Wednesday after coughing blood and has been there for a week now, hoping to go home on Friday. My family and I just don’t know what to do with ourselves or for him. He can’t face seeing or talking to anyone but my Mum and selfishly I’m really struggling with not seeing him. We’ve been told it’s a matter of months - what can I do to help him and my mum ?
Hi and welcome to the Online Community, although I am always sorry to see folks finding us and so sorry to hear about your dad’s diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this brings a lot of confusion, stress and many questions in all the family but talking with other people who are on the same type of journey helps a lot.
The Community has various support groups so can I direct you to our Carers only, Family and friends and Supporting someone with incurable cancer groups as you will connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey.
Follow the links I've created above then choose ‘click to join' when the page opens.
You can then introduce yourself and post questions selecting '+New' or '+' (depending on your device) you can also join in with existing discussions by clicking on 'reply'.
It’s always good to talk - our Macmillan Support Services provides lots of ways to connect. The service is open every day 8am to 8pm and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00. Clicking here will give you more information.
You can also email them, use the online chat and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.
All the very best a a virtual ((hug))
Thanks so much, It really doesn’t seem real to be honest, this whole week has been a nightmare !
Dad had been complaining of feeling unwell to his GP for a couple of months but was told it was IBS and to try gluten free, then a chest infection or anemia, he was prescribed amoxicillin just last Tuesday ! No mention whatsoever of cancer or even the possibility of something more serious. I feel so angry that his symptoms were dismissed.
He’s been offered chemo but is reluctant at the moment. He’s been having regular blood transfusions and had to have another chest X-ray today so I’m expecting more bad news tomorrow from that. Now waiting on a hospital bed to be delivered so that he can go home to my Mum.
He loves all outdoorsy things, walking, football, golf, rugby and dearly loves his grandchildren. He’s lost interest in reading , tv and music but I’ll keep racking my brain for ideas ! I’ve offered to take him to/from his hospital appts once he is home and I like the idea of cooking them some meals (that way I know they’re both eating). I have bought him some Sherpa fleece lined socks - they’re like mini duvets for your feet.
ive not seen him since he went into hospital last Wednesday and I’ve been told to expect a shock when he’s home, I just want to give him a hug, and maybe find a miracle cure 
So sorry your Dad has this horrible disease too, sending good wishes your way 
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Hello again, im sorry for the late reply. How is your dad doing?
The socks sound lovely and i am sure you are taking such good care of him.
Maybe his grandchildren could make him a card or something or even record a little video for him to watch on his phone. Its so hard thinking of ideas for them.... my dad has booked himself in at an aviation museum he has always wanted to visit... he is going with my mum later this week before he starts his chemo next week.
Hope that you are looking after yourself too. 
