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Just been told I’ve got cancer

Disbloke
Posted by

Hi all, feeling totally lost right now. Just had results from biopsy on neck lump to be told “there’s good news and bad news. Good news is it looks to be very treatable, bad news it’s cancer.” Swollen lymph node on right side of neck just a bit below angle of jaw, was told highly likely is located in throat or neck, but worst case could be as low as chest. Have head and neck MRI tomorrow, can’t remember if doctor said was going to or might arrange CT scan, and will have a follow up appointment next Wednesday, mind was just everywhere by that point. That’s the crappy bit, I’m just 50 single dad with son 14 and daughter 11. I have told them as much as I know, which right now isn’t that much.

Thanks, Kevin

KTatHome
Posted by

Hello , I’m sorry to hear of your diagnosis, I can understand why you feel lost at the moment, I hope things will become more positive for you once the treatment plan has started. I know that’s how I felt for some time after my diagnosis. I wanted to welcome you to the community that no one really wants to join but here we are, making the best of each other’s support and experiences. I notice you have done your profile all ready thank you, so you just need to join a group and post there to get the support you need. You haven’t said what type of cancer was found from your biopsy, the groups for each cancer type are listed in the link below for you to click on. 

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/

There is also a list of cancer experiences for you to browse through, and click join group and set how often you wish to be notified by email. I think the best experience is logging on to the site and reading through and joining in the groups that resonate with you.

I’m hoping that a trouble shared is a trouble halved and that things soon won’t feel so crappy as they have seemed today. 

Best wishes

KT 

What is a Community Champion?

You can call the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or contact them by email.

daloni
Posted by

Hi Kevin

I can imagine you do feel all at sea. I’m a single parent living with cancer and I know how hard that can be. 

I think KT has pointed you in the right direction. I just wanted to add a couple of things. The first is this: HANG ON TO THE VERY TREATABLE. I’m not a big one for using capital letters but I think this is really important. 

Talking to our children is tricky. It’s so important that we are honest with them so they can trust us but that needs to be balanced against scaring the living daylights out of them. I found the information below from the main website very useful. The cancer nurses at the hospital and the hospice have also helped me think through how I talk to my kids (they were 10 and 14 when I was diagnosed; they’re 15 and 19 now) 

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/talking-about-cancer/talking-to-children

I hope your scans are not too awful an experience for you. I’ve not had a head mri but I know some people find them very daunting. In my experience, radiographers are brilliant at putting you at your ease. Do you have someone who can come with you to your appointment on Wednesday? 

The other thing that might well be rattling around your head is work and finances. Macmillan has a team of financial advisers and a call to them once you know your treatment plan would be a good idea. There is some good info here - and the helpline number for contacting the advisers is at the bottom of the page

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/organising/your-finances/planning-your-finances

Good luck!