Hi, my dad won’t eat, he has t4 bowel cancer and mets and had ileostomy. It seems he’s given up on himself and so has everyone else.
I still believe in him but I feel I’m the only person that does.
Hi and welcome to the online community and I'm sorry that your concerns about your dad have brought you to us but I'm pleased that you felt able to come to us and share your concerns.
It is understandable that your dad has given up on himself and wont eat but you have not given up on him.
It is good that you believe in your dad and that you are trying to help him.
Have you spoken to dads GP or stoma care nurse about him not eating. How long ago since the ileostomy operation as it does take time for the appetite to come back completely and it is not unusual for foods that were liked before to taste horrible now.
Obviously the advice on eating should be followed with small meals spread throughout the day but I would suggest that food on the plate should be separated into compartments so that different foods don't touch each other on the plate.
Something that is disliked today maybe okay next week and by keeping a food diary will help you in preparing meals.
Try working into a conversation why he wont eat without being too obvious why you are asking and if he answers this will give you an indication you may find that the lack of appetite isn't painful, but eating can be and knowing this is starting point going forward.
It could be that the loss of appetite will be down to dad being anxious about his condition and the future but can't face talking about it and if he feels that everyone around him has given up on him may feel what's the point of going on, there is always a way to keep on going and by showing that you believe in him and supporting him maybe of help
Have you tried to get him to drink food supplements like ensure or Fortisip to give some protein and calories.
Some medications can make one not want to eat but if you can find out what he would like to eat even if it's something like ice cream for breakfast that would be a start.
Can I invite you to join us over in the Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer Group I'm sure that the other members will have some advice to help you.
Don't feel alone there is help available to you and the first step is your dads GP who may refer him to a dietitian or even better a counselor to help him and you. Of course by being a member of the Mac family you have an army of people sitting quietly in the background all waiting to be of help and support to you by giving you advice based on their own experiences and being a very friendly bunch of people they will share everything with you so please do come and join us in the bowel support group and start new discussions and/or join in with the current ones, I look forward to seeing you over there in the near future.
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