Unfortunately, we were told today that the cancer had spread to the liver and that the only course of treatment was chemotherapy. We are awaiting our first appointment with the oncologist. My husband is 66 and we have no children. I suppose my question is; what sort of questions should we be asking the oncologist?
I am a regular monthly donor to Macmillian in memory of my niece who died in 2008 from secondary ovarian cancer at the age of 36.
I want to try and stay positive for my husband - thankfully we have had nearly 5 years of happy and fulfilling retirement - any advice you can give me would be much appreciated.
Hi, suggest you post your question to "Ask a nurse" or ring the helpline on 0808 808 0000 , 8am to 8pm
You could also join the Bowel cancer and Liver, secondary cancer groups to get support from folk in a similar position to your husband. For yourself, the Family and friends group might be helpful.
I'm just an ordinary member who spotted your post , but a community champion will be along shortly to welcome you n give you a few pointers re using the site. Meanwhile,you might want to add a bit to your profile to let ppl know more about you?
Whatever questions you ask, make sure one of you writes the answers down to refer to later. It's all a bit if a blur at the time.
Hi Di57 and a very warm welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to hear that your husband has been diagnosed with bowel cancer that has spread to the liver and it's perfectly normal to want to find out as much as you can about it.
One of the best ways is to talk to other people with this diagnosis so I'm going to recommend that you join the bowel cancer group and the secondary liver cancer group. With both of these groups you can ask questions and share experiences. The people in those groups will be able to give you tips on what sort of questions to ask when you first meet with your husband's oncologist.
To join these groups just click on the links I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the pages that open. You can then introduce yourself or post a question after selecting 'start a discussion' or join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute it would be really useful if could pop something about your husband's journey so far into your profile as it helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
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Many thanks for your very helpful advice. The diagnosis today was a bit of s shock, so just trying to absorb information so I can help my husband as much as I can. Di
I'm so sorry to hear the news you received today but I am so pleased that you found the time to reach out to us, with so many friendly people on this forum you can be assured of all the support, help and advice you may need and to share their experiences with you.
All the members will be on hand to answer any questions to help you on this journey.
You asked about Questions to ask the Oncologist I have put together the following for you, the questions are the same no matter which type of appointment you are going to and you should tweak the questions to suit your needs.
I'm sorry the following is a very long response but if you're ready and settled down with a nice cup of tea here we go
Be prepared for the appointment
Checklist of questions to ask at your appointment
such as blood tests or scans
Before your appointment
During your appointment
Before you leave your appointment
After your appointment, don't forget the following
Questions checklist leaflet
The important thing to remember is to ask you questions it is amazing how many people leave an appointment and are sitting in the car all asking the same question, "What did he say about..." or "I wish I had asked......" this is your time to get information, ask everything you think you need to know.
In the bowel group you will hear this said often, "There is no such thing as silly/stupid question, only the one never asked" if you have a question rattling around in your head, ask it, get an answer
I hope you this of interest and helps when you attend the appointment.
Please let us know how you get on at appointment and keep in touch as you progress in your husbands journey
I look forward to welcoming you into the Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer group in the near future our door is always open, no need to knock just come in, we're waiting to give you support, see you soon.
if I can be of any further help please give me a shout out in the bowel group.
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I've just had my morning cup of coffee, so took the opportunity to read your message.
Thank you so much for the information you have provided. It is much appreciated and really useful.
We have received a letter this morning for my husband to attend an appointment with the oncologist at the Woolverstone Macmillan Centre at Ipswich Hospital next Wednesday, 21st August @ 10.30 am, so will update thereafter.
With best regards
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