Parent diagnosed with cancer

Hi Kt2013,  I am so sorry about your mum's diagnosis and for you and how you must be feeling right now.  

I am a mum of two boys and I was diagnosed with breast cancer just before Christmas.  Please know that breast cancer is very treatable these days and chances are really high that your mother will be absolutely fine.  Whether she has surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and she may have any number of combinations of these it's better than it used to be and it's all doable.  It's a bit of a journey that most refer to as a rollercoaster because of the numerous ups and downs but at the end of it the success rate is high.

It's difficult to say more based on the information you have so far and the waiting for results is the absolute pits for all of us.  Once your mum and her doctors know what they are dealing with they will give her her treatment plan and at that point you should all feel a lot better.

Hopefully this reassures you a little bit.  Just remember that the waiting will be hard but at the end of the day breast cancer is very treatable these days.

Feel free to keep in touch if you want to talk and let me know how your mother gets on.

Sending you and your mother a huge Hug xx

Hi  and a warm welcome to the Online Community but sorry that you needed to find us. I am also very sorry to hear about your mum’s diagnosis.

A cancer diagnosis in the family brings many questions, lots of confusion and stress but talking with other people who are on the same type of journey will help you navigate this rollercoaster.

The Community is organised into dedicated support groups so can I recommend you join our supportive Breast cancers group, this will be a good place to connect with others navigating the support of a family member on the same type of cancer journey.

To join a group just click on the link above then choose 'click to join' or 'join' (depending on the device you're using) on the page that opens. Then you can introduce yourself by putting up a ‘New Thread’ or hit the box with the X on the top right (phones) you could just copy and paste the text from this your first post. You can also join in with existing ‘Discussions’ by clicking on 'reply'. 

Talking with others caring for family and friends will help a lot so do check out our Family and friends Group as you will connect with others walking the same journey supporting family and friends through their cancer journey.

It’s always good to talk and the Macmillan Support Services provides lots of information, support, financial guidance or just a listening ear.

Most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week and it's free to call on 0808 808 00 00 have a look by Clicking here to see what is available and we also have our Ask an Expert section, but do allow two working days for replies from our expert team.

((hugs))

Thankyou so much for your reassuring words. Shes back for all the information this afternoon so hopefully we will be able to digest all the info and know what shes gonna be dealing with then. 

I think one of the things that really scares me is the thought of her going through chemo and seeing how poorly it will make her, but also knowing that in the long run it will help her. Also the guilt of feeling really scared and worried even though its not me thats going through it.

I hope you and your boys are well.

 You shouldn't feel guilty for being scared and worried.  Of course you are going to feel that way when someone close to you is diagnosed with cancer or any other illness.  It's completely normal and although your mother wouldn't want you to feel that way, because no parent wants their child to suffer, she would probably be hurt if you didn't because it would mean you didn't care.  I didn't want my sons to be worried but if they were not I would have felt that they didn't care.

With regards to chemo she may not need it but if she does she will probably find it a bit rough but then once it's over she will recover and from what I have read she will pretty much return back to normal.

I don't need chemo so I don't know much about but from speaking with others on here who have and are currently having chemo it's a bit rough but very doable and they seem to recover from it once it's over.  So if your mum does need chemo try not to worry about it because it will be doing her good and when it's over she should be fine.

What were you told today about her treatment plan?

We're all well thanks.  

xx

She has to have 6 rounds of chemo then an operation to remove the cancer. She is eligable for a mastectomy even if the chemo shrinks the cancer completely which is reassuring to know. She is also having the genetic test as my grandma also has breast cancer. If my mum carries the gene then i can also get tested but we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Once she's all sorted i will worry about my own risk. 

Thankyou so much for your support. Its a great help to be able to speak to someone who knows exactly what we're going through without the risk of upsetting my family by talking to them about it

X

It's good your mother  has her treatment plan in place, I felt much better when I was given mine and even better once it started.  I hope your mother doesn't carry the gene but if she does then at least you know to get tested so you know whether to be vigilant and have regular checks.  A lot of my friends and myself included were never very good at checking our breasts for changes or for lumps.

I can see how talking to someone like me who is a mum that has cancer is helpful as you can get an insight into how your mum might be thinking and feeling.  I would also suggest that you look at the links the Highlander gave you above as it will also help you to talk with people who are the loved one of someone with cancer as they will have been where you are and will also be able to give you valuable advice.  Plus it always helps to connect with people going through the same thing you are and to know you are not alone. 

Do feel free to contact me anytime and I will respond.

Wishing you and your mother all the best on this journey.

xx

Hi , each cancer journey is different both for the person going through treatment but also for the family.

Do join and connect in with the groups I highlights in my first post as you will connect with lots of people where are walking the walk.

((hugs))

I'm new too, im currently staying at my Mums whose now palliative care with stage 4 cancer which started off in the cervix 18 months ago. I hope your mum gets good rests from treatment and beats this. Its really hard to take in a cancer diagnosis and I'm glad you found this group at an early stage. Good luck to you and your Mum x

A warm welcome to you  abd so sorry to hear about your mum.

The Online Community is organised into various support groups. This first list is for our Cancer specific Groups and the second list is for our various other Cancer experience groups.

Have a look round then join the groups that catch your eye.

((hugs))

Hello Glasgoowgal, I am so sorry to hear about your mother.  As Thehighlander has said I think you will get more beneficial help and support from one of the groups that better fit your situation.  If you click on the groups tab (next to the home tab) and then have a look at the categories under cancer types and cancer experiences you should find a group for people in your and your mums position and I think speaking with them will give you more comfort and support.

I had breast cancer and don't have any experience in helping with what you are dealing with.

I wish you and your mother all the best and hope that you both get the help and support you both need.

Sending you both big hugs x