Newly diagnosed

Dear G n J

I feel almost suicidal at the moment 

Xxx

Hi Charlieandlola

It can make you despair at times but I want to honestly reassure you nothing is worse than waiting for results - Everyone here hated this time. At least a week of all those what if's niggling away inside your head..... pecking away at your sensible side.

BUT, this will never be as bad as you are imagining - Keep replying if you want a chat while I'm around.

Hugs, G n' J

Charlieandlola

If you feel you would prefer to talk over the phone privately

you can ring the Samaritans anytime on 116 123

The number doesn't appear on phone bills.

G n' J

I've tried but it makes me feel better for 5 minutes then I'm back in bed again unable to function properly x

Hi Charlieandlola

What is your biggest fear trying to cope with all this ?

G n' J

I feel weakness and convinced I'm going to die shortly x

Charlieandlola

Why would you give in to these thoughts when you have so much to live for :-/

Chances are you were a fit person, led a healthy lifestyle so perhaps you feel your body has let you down ?

Cancer doesn't discriminate but for the vast majority it can be removed and you will live and enjoy life shared with your family once again. There are loads of us here; both patients and carers but the majority are those who have kicked cancers arse and living their new normal.

You are not weak, you will feel more like a Tea Bag - Put into hot water you will get stronger. You may not feel that way now but will do I promise.

G n' J

I'm fit yes, swim 3 times a week and twice a week training. Eat healthy dont drink or smoke. I'm devastated and very scared and all I can see is death looking at me. X

Dear Charlieandlola

You may have cancer - but cancer doesn't have you and it isn't death looking at you, it is your fear for the future, look past that as you do have one - you just can't see it yet.

Swipe that demon off your shoulder and tell him this isn't your time... Not now or for many years. Once the cancer rock gets lobbed into the lake it causes many emotional ripples you have to ride out before it gets calm, but it does get calmer.

You can do so this all you need is some help - Post a message in the breast group you joined, you will be surprised at how many would admit to being how you feel now.

We're all here to help if we can - Strangers are only friends you haven't met yet.

G n' J xx

Thank you,  I need to keep talking to you xx I'm not sure how to do that as I'm not brilliant at technical stuff. I've never done fb or social media. I will try and put something on 

X