It’s probably great that there aren’t too many recent posts here. It means people are living with or being cured more frequently than in previous years. However for those of us who are sailing off into the sunset it seems an even lonelier little boat to be on.
I was diagnosed Oct 22 and it was a total shock. l was 55 had just moved across the country, from Brixton, South London to Scarborough, North Yorkshire. I had just brought a big house ready to start a huge renovation project with a 5 year plan to take me to early retirement at 60. Instead l was told l had stage 4 anal cancer. What followed was a stoma then 5 months of radiation and chemo the aim being to shrink the tumor prior to an operation with the aim being to cure me. Unfortunately it was not be the disease had spread to my liver 6 months of weekly chemotherapy therapy followed, but again the results were not what was hoped for and the lymph nodes around my liver were now infected. A last ditch effort was made in March to try immunotherapy with only a 1 in 4 chance of success. Wednesday 3rd of July treatment stopped and l was told the tumor in my liver had tripled in size. I now only have weeks possibly months to live.
l thought l might freak out, but l am surprisingly calm, quiet accepting and relaxed about it all. Unfortunately everyone around me is not handling it well at all. They all appear to be in denial and this is making it really hard for me. However l am coming round to the idea that helping those around me begin to feel how l do about it all is the last little job l have to do before l shuffle off this mortal coil.
l would love to hear from anyone else going through this last stage of their cancercoaster ride or the loved ones of someone who have just died. Any advice or simple reflections on their experiences would be really appreciated.
kindest Regards
simon
