In the autumn of 2019 I was diagnosed with stage 3 peritoneal cancer and had various treatments, including chemo over the following year. A year later I was in hospital again with post operation problems from scar tissue resulting in another operation. A year later, despite being on immunotherapy drugs to keep the peritoneal cancer away, I had breast cancer and a double mastectomy. I didn’t have chemo despite being offered it; borderline benefits and it makes me so ill - another six months of my life would have been under the cosh. So I am carrying in with life as normal, reasonably well though the prescribed hormone tablets give me unwelcome side effects. That’s the context, now here is my rant. A good number of my family - including my son of 40 and his wife - think I am now OK. They think remission means I am all but cured and don’t understand my anxieties when I have the three month blood checks including the CA125 cancer markers. Nor do they get it when I am thoroughly tired and not able to do stuff I used to. I am 72 and though look sprightly do not have the strength I used too. Some friends take the same view. I have started to have arguments with my son who gets angry when I say I can’t do things like pushing a pushchair or I get things wrong with IT stuff - classic switch of the parent/child relationship. It’s almost like he is saying when did you become a negative dope. A ‘cancer buddy’ who I met in hispital has just died and she was so inspirational. Her family was so supportive and helpful, though mainly her daughter - is it a male thing with my son? And some of my friends tell me me ‘we all will die of something” , I.e. you are no different to others. Maybe I am not. End of rant, I can’t work it out despite a background as a counsellor. Feel sad and overwhelmed by it all. I don’t want sympathy but I do need positive help to make the best of life in realistic ways. I do say this, but it’s so often not heard. . Sorry this is long!
