A series of disconnected (but kind of connected) thoughts and feelings, courtesy of mementomori

Hi Bev, people on this forum have found www [dot] insurancewith [dot] com to be reasonably priced for our club.  Start with them.  

Hi Mementomori Great uusername by the way

Sorry I'm so late introducing myself.

I too hate discussing my illness, especially in a group setting.  I'm not too bad at talking about it one on one, but dislike it when people grill me for information when there are other people around.  I feel as if I'm rhe entertainment and they're asking out of morbid curiosity. Or something.

In those situations, I quickly close it down and when someone says So,  How are you? (Spk for Tell us all about it)  I quickly say I'm fine thanks and you? (Back at ya!)

Anyway, I don't want to talk about cancer when I'm trying to enjoy myself with coffee and cake. 

I also get the reluctance to talk about it 24/7 with relatives.  It might make THEM feel better, but I find I can cope with cancer better when people aren't being heavy all the time. My mother is the worst for this.  She means we'll but is always trying to get family members to get me on my own and to open up and have a 'good chat'

If she had her way, we'd all be sat in a darkened room, holding hands and singing cwmbya'  and crying and wailing about the whole thing.  That is so not me.

I appreciate everyone is different, and don't get me wrong, I have my dark moments, but the way I look at it is, if I'm constantly focusing on all things doom and gloom, them I'm wasting what precious time I have left.

Anyway, I have this place to have a rant and a rage!

I've also never asked for a timeline.

1. I'm also constantly being put on steroids, (immunotherapy  doesn't like me much) so empathise with you about the sleepless nights.

Xx

Ps sorry for the strange typos and formatting.  I don't seem to be able to edit my posts anymore.

I've had a break from the forum but just wanted to say hello and send you a hug. Everybody else has said it all and ads ever, it's all good advice. So don't be lonely. People are here for you and each other.  Rainie x

Hi Harebelle,

Yup - I know in some relationships they call it “grey rocking”. Not quite the same here but a similar concept I suppose, when you feel someone is digging for gossip or info you don’t want to share, you respond in as boring a manner as possible! They eventually get tired of it. I also pull out the “oh I’m just avoiding it at the moment” with more understanding people. 

That’s one thing I love about my job - I work from home in a mentally stimulating and dynamic position, and people really respect that I need to be treated “normally”, unless I specify otherwise. I don’t want to be the “cancer girl”, I’m an amazing woman who is excellent at her job, and also happens to have cancer!

I ended up making a Facebook group to stop the constant barrage of calls, texts and emails. That way I can post pics of my good days, posts about treatment and my friends and family from all across the country can connect. I’ve even found that one of my closest work colleagues has suffered from the pain of losing a child, as have my grandparents. She also has experience of having a child with a complex mental illness, like ny grandparents! So I’m planning on getting them connected, when I’m ready.

Oh I definitely have so many dark moments, and the smallest things set me off (the straw that breaks the camel’s back, I suppose)! That’s when I have a cry, a drink, some junk food and head over to this forum for a good old read and chat. Or watch trash TV, whatever feels best at the time! 

All my love,

MM

I hope the drinks before you come hear is not a P***tant thing or you won't be able to do your tiepin properly 

Ha ha ha Lol 

Thanks xxx

Brilliant post MM.  xxx

Wish there was a way of typing just... nodding, listening, thinking. X