Please don't read if you have a sensitive nature as I'm going to call a spade a spade.
I've looked after three family members (two of them close) who lost their lives to cancer, and as much as I loved them, 'it weren't a pretty sight,' and that's an understatement.
Am I unusual in that, when my time comes ro shuffle off this mortal coil, I would rather take myself off for the last week or two and pay to have a compete stranger look after me during my final week or so?.
I don't want loved ones seeing me gurgling and talking jibberish and dribbling and possibly crying out in pain.
I remember when my gran died, she kept trying to push all the covers off, (I think it's called terminal agitation) I kept trying to pull them back up to protect her dignity, as they had her on incontinence pads. She was a very proud lady and I know if she were fully conscious she would have been mortified at the thought of visitors seeing her in a state of undress!
When my father was dying, despite being a good looking man, he looked awful as they insisted on taking his teeth out, so his face had a collapsed sunken look. His eyes were sunken as well.
I think that's the reality of dying, and all this 'they died peacefully with loved ones at their side' doesn't convey the brutal reality of the dying process.
There should be another way of doing things, for people like myself who is horrified at the thought of my family seeing me like that.
Maybe have a party or gathering where you say goodbye to loved ones and then go off for the last two weeks to die with dignity and spare them the grim side of things
Also they will remember you how you are.
Am I unusual in thinking this way? Prepared to be told I am.
