Hello, I am feeling a bit speechless following being told two days ago that my "only very slightly" swollen pelvic lymph node - which an MRI scan a few weeks ago revealed is cancer - is incurable. This is due to the fact that because of the "very aggressive" course of chemo and radiotherapy and brachytherapy I went through last summer 2023 the surgeon has said he would not undertake surgery to the lymph node as it would likely cut into my bowel.
I had been told last month that if not surgery they would be giving me more radiotherapy abut two days ago was told they have now discussed this and the doses of radiotherapy I have already had last year were so high that I cannot have any more as it would be harmful to me. My cancer diagnosis in January 2023 was stage 4 cervical cancer: I was told I had a year to live if I didn't undergo the treatment which they said would be "radical" but the aim was curative. I was told it had also spread to the pelvic lymph nodes. In December 2023 I was told it had all completely cleared. Following several scans this year I was told the pelvic lymph node is showing slightly, only by 2 millimetres - but that it should not be - and finally they have discovered it is cancer.
Two days ago the consultant said they are "going to watch it" and he will see me in 10 weeks time after another MRI scan which will tell them if it has grown or spread. All I know at the moment is that it might have grown a little bit by then - or it could grow a lot. If the latter, he said the plan will be to give me more chemotherapy plus immunotherapy - but that it will not be curative.
It is now hitting me that I have incurable cancer with no idea how long I can expect to live or how ill and in pain or sick and exhausted I will be, whether I will again lose my intellectual faculties as well as how bad I can expect (will it be for ever until I die?) the gastric and bowel effects to be. I wonder if anyone here can relate to this at all - I had hoped to go back to my artwork and writing publicly as well as further study but as I am already 74 this is now looking uncertain if not unlikely.
