Hi Im Tina,
I was found to have peritoneal cancer in January of this year. Had 3 & a half rounds of chemo, then a sizeable de bulking operation ( woke up with something akin to a full length zip gracing my abdomen) .. Followed by 3 more rounds of chemo.
Im now on a 3 weekly course of Avastin for the next year or so.
Ended up in hospital for 11 days a couple of weeks back with acute proctal colitis plus a small anal fistula.. Caused ‘probably’ by chemo.. After discharge I had a meeting with my consultant who informed me that it could have been caused by c-diff ? This shocked me as I’d at no time been told that I had c-diff, no barrier nursing took place & id only had one instance of diarrhoea.. but hey ho apparently they found the c-diff gene. Since then I’ve been downing Yacult like a thing possessed, changed my diet to low /soluble roughage and watching everything bowel related like a hawk..
So…. How’s everyone’s brain fog doing? I’m finding it unbelievably annoying & so frustrating.. I’ve changed from being ‘the organiser’ to a pathetic numpty who’s scared of filling in simple forms. The thought of starting the process of sorting mums estate terrifies me , mum passed away this April.
Im not sure whether I’m a coward, but although I know I’m terminal ( horrible word!) I just don’t want to know how much time I have.. right now I feel ignorance is bliss.
Well I did until I tried to book travel insurance today - I was feeling great that my consultant gave me a thumbs up for ten days in Germany to visit relatives.. First insurance company refused me because I’m terminal. Then phoned McMillan who said the insurance companies would likely ask whether I had a minimum of 6 months to live. ( second insurance company I called confirmed this) .. So now I’ve left phone msgs and emails with my specialist nurses and am absolutely terrified that the answer will be that I’ve not got 6 months..
I nursed my little sister till she fell asleep in my arms September 2020. She had ovarian cancer & I thought I knew how she felt because I’d been to every consultation & every treatment with her … I didn’t have a clue, and I’m constantly thinking of all the ‘wrong’ things I likely said to her, things I would have done differently if only I’d really ‘known’. But I don’t think anyone except those in this ‘club’ actually know what it’s like.
Sorry for writing a book … I’ll shut up now xxx
