Struggling

Hi everyone 

Feeling pretty low today. This incurable diagnosis has hit me all over again. What it means for the family and the uncertainty of how much time there will be. 

I've managed to stay fairly upbeat taking it one day at a time so far. Been lucky enough to get away several times with my hubby and continue meeting up with friends and family. 

I had six cycles of chemo with CT scan half way through which showed things had not altered from  three and a half months before which seemed positive news. Due another CT scan at the weekend. Meeting consultant on 15th Nov. She has mentioned might be good idea to do some radiotherapy. Not ever got into a discussion of time scale/prognosis as too scared. Apart from fatigue after chemo been pretty lucky with side effects. 

I've just been acting normal whatever that is with my kids 29 and 27. Not discussed things as don't want to upset them. Today though I can't get thoughts out of my head like I'm not going to see my 2 year old granddaughter grow up, my kids marry etc

. Dont think the dark nights are helping my mood. I'm ok while occupied with TV shows visits out. Just after some advice really as to whether other people have discussed the future with their friends and family talked about things they fear not being around for. Guess if is very personal. Or talked to a professional or had counselling? 

Sorry to bring down the mood in the group ans for this rambling post!

Take care

Suze x

  • I think that's it when I get all panicky and down I get guilty too as it's time and energy wasted when I could be enjoying myself. Sometimes though the stress of living in this way just gets too much and it's allowing ourselves to have a wobble acknowledge our feelings are justified and then get back to trying to make the most of each day. Thank you for your reply