Hovering around

Hi Lily, post don't delete, we all have our difficult times, and we all need support. I have been so grateful for the kind and helpful words on this forum, and for the flippant and silly ones too.

We all know what it is like to feel like a burden, but just remember that at different times we all need help, and we all want to give help when we can. Help comes in many ways, a kind word, a loving glance, even a hug (despite COVID19).

Reach out and let those who can support you. 

Hello Lily. I like that name, that was my Mums name.

She would have wise words for you. No one is a burden on here and you certainly aren't.

This is a place for a rant and to put your feelings on here so your friends here can understand and help you.

At home with friends and family we all struggle. Of course we cannot tell them how we feel, they would go into shock if they understood exactly how we felt and the effect cancer is having on us. Its impossible for anyone who is not in the cancer club to share what we have.  We hide that away and let it out here. You hang on and take a few deep breaths. X

Thank you salis. I feel like people roll their eyes when I speak, even when it's them who start the conversation.  I mean "why ask?" If you don't want to know. They just want me to say "I'm ok" but there are times when I'm not OK,  they don't want to hear that. 

Thank you Norberry. I was named after my great grandmother.  She would have known what to do. I miss her terribly.  Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes it just gets too much . 

We are all the same and I am so pleased that you are one of us. We cannot do without you. Your post has quite likely helped someone else. That would be some achievement in my view. Xx

Hi Lily

Absolutely no need to apologise, now you're among like minded people you can rant away. I'd say most of us feel similar but I can assure you that your family will not see things that way. I'd also guess that if the boot were on the other foot, you would gladly help another member of your family.

You could ring the MacMillan helpline and have a chat with someone who can give you some good advice. The number is 0808 808 00 00. Good luck Lily.

Tvman x

Hi Lily, It is good to hear from you again and yes I am also "hovering around" at the minute. In fact I have been hovering for years now, who would have thought it! However things will not improve for me and it is hard to accept sometimes! As others have said unless they are part of the Group people just don't understand what it is like to be told "you are looking good" (as opposed to being dead is that!) or asked "how are you today? In that tone of voice that makes you want to scream at them because they don't really want to know, it is just like saying "how's the weather" to them, but not to us because we know how we feel and how we will probably feel tomorrow!

I do think most folks just don't know what to say to us and they are trying to be kind! Believe it or not, twice last week people said to me " well I can't believe you are still here"!! Now what do you say to that? I'm sorry! Of course you can't so I just say "yes, I am one of the lucky ones"! 

Please come here and rant any time, we are all here to listen and support others here, just like they support us, it is a two way street!

Hi Lily, I'm so glad you posted as I have been feeling the same recently. I have somewhat outlasted my prognosis already and I really expected to be gone by now. I think that the prospect of facing another cold, dark winter and (god help me) another Christmas that I was quite happy to forego is upsetting my equilibrium.

Not sure where to go with it really. I'll probably speak to my GP. 

Good luck Lily, much love, 

Stuart x 

Yes it is tough for all of us. I find it hard to express my feelings. I always tell people I am fine because that is what I think they want to hear. 

Poor  Annette you do do seem to have some tactless friends. I think some people just don’t know what to say.

I am trying not to think too far ahead and enjoy the day for what it is and the things I can enjoy doing. It is hard sometimes especially  when you cannot do the things you used to do 

love to everyone xx

Thank you everyone for the support.  I feel much better now I've had a good sleep, and woken up to all your lovely and kind replies.  I will try and open up more on here, as it has definitely helped.  Annette I have also had people say that to me, I'm not a violent person but it does make you want to give them a good slap ! I mean why would you say that? Beggers belief. Thanks everyone, have a good day.