I have terminal DLBCL. In October. When telling my consultant I wanted to be alive and well enough to enjoy Christmas he replied “ i’ll do what I can but I can’t promise anything“
I was determined I would - I kept busy with baking and arrangements (which Covid kept changing, and I made it. I am alive and mobile with a good appetite and thoroughly enjoyed Christmas. But now I kind of think ‘now what?’
I feel low. I don’t know if I’ll reach Easter or even if it’s reasonably to think I might. But I really want to still be here when the skylarks start singing again (I live in the country)
Some days of late I have felt so wiped out and not wanted to get up, or I’ve had to sleep on the sofa during the day. This makes me wonder if this is the beginning of the end.
I have a PET scan next Monday (Jan 4th) I guess I’ll know more then.
I don’t necessarily want advice, I guess I just want to know I am not alone in my feelings
