Just a rant/offloading - no need to read or reply if you don't want to!

Exactly! You see, for around a year I have had - not a pain, exactly, but an awareness of a sensation on my right hand side, at the top end of the ribcage. It's  mildly uncomfortable but nothing to take pain relief over. I have been assuming it was either my liver or the gall bladder (I have some right old fun and games with indigestion, which makes me wonder gall bladder? But everything I have heard suggests that gall bladder pain is crippling and it's definitely not that.)  I've kept telling myself that "if it IS the liver, it's not agony and each CT scan shows either shrinkage or stability, so stop worrying!"

Now I'm wondering - is it my rib cage itself?  So many other little aches and pains that I had put down to other causes = are they really bad posture or ye olde hockey stick shin incident rearing its arthritic head again? I can see that at this rate, I'm going to get the Denusomab injections and see which bones feel  better. I see no other way of finding out which bones it's in! So I know exactly what you mean! 

I thought I had it all sorted out in my head what was where and what caused what pains. Then, if I got a headache or stomach ache or anything else ache, I could tell myself to STFU - the cancer is nowhere near there and besides, red wine always = headache. But now I have no idea where it is and, frankly, no confidence in the doctors. 

Hahahaha - my dad,  being a bit of a 50's/60's fanatic, often used to say of someone "he's Joe Loss's brother - Dead Loss!" Seeing you say it reminded me and made me laugh!

I think all this Covid/telephone appointment nonsense isn't helping - I find it hard to be insistent on the phone but face to face, I have no problem. I would have asked him to look at the scans then and there and probably would not have left his office until he did. I really don't see any reason why he could not find out for me or even remember from one week to the next what treatment he's offered. I know he sees a lot of people but as you say, this is starting to feel like DIY treatment!

(yes, the new site design is a right pain in the whatsits - it takes me ages to log in and so when I finally manage it, I have to rush to read and reply before it logs me out again! Why fix what ain't broke?!)

Hi 

Ha ha ha, I've never heard the Joe Loss bit. I've given it a bit of thought and I think I heard others say someone is a dead loss!

Tvman xx

Hi MooCoo,

I was intrigued with your title & felt I had to reply. Sometimes it`s good to rant and even rant again!! Getting rid of your pent up frustrations, disappointments, irritations or anger is surely a good thing. Giving your OH a broadside or the "hairdrier treatment" might not be as effective as directing your rant in our direction on this community. These pages can serve as an invaluable source of empathy and understanding. No one on this community will judge you, we have no right to do that but we will support anyone who requires or asks for support, a friendly ear can ease the burden of anger and frustration, so rant away anytime you want.  

Take care, Tom.

Hi tvman i couldn't get my head round that phrase now you have explained what it means I get it ha ha ha typical the ever wise and knowledgeable tv man to the rescue again!!!!! 

It's a very common phrase here in the Midlands!

Thank you! It feels good to rant. I'm convinced it does me a world of good just to get it down on - well, not paper, as such, but in print anyway. It really is amazing, the power of a friendly ear. 

Dear MooCoo! Don't be polite and patient anymore! Tell them off ! At least you can feel better after letting the fumes out

I think the phone appointments are the worst thing the COVID situation made for us. We are not people, not a person anymore.  I think it is totally wrong 

Well, I have today emailed them the form to request my medical records along with the two forms of ID. This seems to be the only way I can find out where the mets are and how many there are. They don't make it easy, do they? I keep leaving it, thinking that my anger will dissipate as time goes on but it's obviously not going to. 

I have just received a dentist appointment for December - this is to check the Denusomab isn't damaging my jaw bone - problem is, I won't have signed the consent form by then, much less have started the injections. We really are the forgotten victims of Covid, aren't we?

Oh, don't start me on the subject of cancer patients as forgotten victims of covid! Like so many, I had my treatment stopped in March. I had been in and out of hospital throughout January and February, and that pattern continued in April, May, June & July. I finally started chemo in August, after a scan showed there was no more time to lose. 

A subsequent scan shows that the chemo appears to be working. But I can't help thinking that, if I'd started it in April, as I should have done, my lungs wouldn't be so badly damaged and I wouldn't now be dependent  on continuous oxygen. I'm awaiting delivery of a walker that I think is sturdy enough to hold an oxygen cylinder. Until I have that, I'm effectively housebound. (I use a wheelchair for hospital appointments.)

If I allow myself to think about it I become both furious and depressed at the lost time. I find it particularly infuriating because I was right there, in the Royal Marsden, all that time. They could so easily have treated me. Grrr.