Well i might be repeating myself so i apologise for that, after i got the bad news that the cancer had spread to my brain i was told that maybe gamma knife could help but only along side more conventional treatment (chemo) so that was a no go. The lung nurse refered me to pallative care the same day which was a friday. On the monday i received a call from our local hospice and a lovely lady came out to see me on the tuesday. We had a long chat about my wishes which are to pass away at home if at all possible. she said this can be done with the help of the district nurses, my gp and the hospice nurses as and when i need them. She renewed my blue badge that day and it arrived just a week later along with a new bus pass. She also refered me to occupational therapy who came to see me a day later and organise a couple of hand rails, a perching chair, and a walker on wheels with a seat to help me get around safely as i am very dizzy and often need to sit and take a rest. I already have a mobility scooter which my hubby bought me a year ago which has been invaluable in giving me some independence. I cant quite beleive how fast everything happened and i feel so lucky to have such services near me. I also spoke to my gp and now have a dnr in place as we both agreed that it would be of no value to me to be reccucitated should the worse happen.
I am now on steroids and various painkillers to try and stabilise the pain from the brain tumours which was pretty horendous before the steroids were started. my eyesight has really gone downhill and my arm has started a whole new dance of its own. I cant remember things and i repeat my self a lot so i am told.
We did manage a couple of days away last weekend in our caravan at york so we werent far and family helped with the couple of things we cant do so that was good, we came home a bit refreshed but i find myself reluctant to go out as i feel safe here in the house.
Its so scary knowing that nothing else can be done and that im at the final hurdle. But having said that i have had six years that i never thought i was getting so i count myself as lucky. Well its taken me ages to do this as i cant see well and sometimes what i intend to write turns out different. I f some of this doesnt make sense i appologise. Hubby has bought me a new laptop and someone is coming later to set it up si can talk to it instead of typing so that shoul make it easier. Love to all who are struggling and hope things improve foryou. Lynn 2.
