Mentally down

 Hi Janet 500    I  had three different chemos non worked. I am pleased i made my decision , just beginning to feel a little better, hope enough to start my changes next week . I have lost 9 days and having to rely on other people for shopping etc. I am an independent person but now i will contact Macmillan for advice on how to use  palliative care when needed. I couldn't get a doc appointment even if i could drive there. I have lovely friends i would prefer to meet socially not when i am needy. My son lives and works abroad we have talked it all through he is in agreement with me, last year he had to come to me so many times--- new regime hopefully i will be able to visit him again. Looking forward to the next 'stage ' however long or short, will be better than it is now.   Its not giving in  i'm still a fighter --look for alternative -- natural medication. C J

Dear

i have read all your replies and taken on board everything you have said. Have you ever spoken to a specialist palliative care doctor who can explain your options if you decide to stop all active treatment and focus only on symptom control and possibly leave you free to do the things you want regardless of the consequences. Until you have a proper explanation of both options it’s hard to make a informed decision. I understand how having your life restricted so much by treatment can be depressing but I would get a referral to another hospital and give it one more go before making a decision either way as I feel from what you have said your relationship with your current team is colouring your thought processes and you deserve to make a decision with a clear head. I know from experience that not all hospitals are the same and have myself got transferred from one hospital to another when I became unhappy with how my care was being delivered and it did make a difference. Give it some thought, everyone here respects your feelings and we only want you to make the best decision for you and your  husband. 

Dear Janet500

Only those of us who have been through chemo know the mental anguish that accompanies it. Your wishes and needs are paramount. You know what is best for you. If you need a break, then that needs to be respected. I imagine your husband is scared, however he needs to listen to you. Only you know how you feel.

You must have amazing strength to have done this for so long. Take care, thinking of you

Xx

You've been through so much, I'm sorry. I went from feeling reasonably well to feeling that my life was consumed by cancer treatment at the beginning of last year when I started oral chemo and had severe side effects. That was not a life worth living.

I did feel I got my life back after a break and then halving the dose. I hope you can find a way to get your life back too, what you're describing would be too much for anyone.

If you can face it, a change of hospital might help, at the very least you need someone who's looking out for you and respecting your wishes. Whatever you decide I hope you'll find something that will give you a chance to feel human again and have another opportunity to enjoy life for as long as possible.

Thinking of you.

xx

Dearest janet

you are having a terrible time ,i feel so much for you ,but obviously i cannot be in your shoes.  .you must make an informed decision regarding your next step ,but one thought occurred to me ,Macmillan may be able to help you with your money problems ,i think they have emergency grants for patients having financial problems ,it is worth a phone call if you feel up to it 

kindest thoughts 

janet xxxxx