Hello

Hello Maz59

I used Boots and got an annual policy for Europe for a decent price. When they asked my prognosis I said I had no idea of how long I was going to live as I had begun treatment and it was working well. Also, many people specifically do not want to know their prognosis - Boots asked me many questions which I could not answer and they seemed ok with this. Generally speaking, I think the profession should stop using the T word, as I really don't think it's helpful.

Hope you manage to get away - a change of routine and scenery is a boost and I am sure it helps maintain a positive outlook. Even a day out helps.

Xx

Hi

Ooops! We seem to have got sidetracked into the endless travel insurance discussion! Easily done as it feels so unjust. I’ve decided that I’m unlikely to go aboard on holiday again. I’d feel irresponsible taking my teenagers out of the country without another adult (I’m a single mum) and there’s so many lovely places to visit here in the UK. 

Anyway. Back to you, Ellieellie (can I call you Ellie? My autocucumber is struggling...) 

I’m living with metastatic womb cancer - it’s spread to my lung and liver and various lymph nodes dotted around my pelvis. I get very little trouble from the cancer, as such. I’ve not had any problems with the liver or lung tumours. The most troublesome is a soft tissue tumour that blocked one of my kidney tubes precipitating a variety of tedious issues. The bit that’s caused me more struggles is the treatment side effects - nausea and fatigue mostly. 

It is really hard getting your head around the loss and Tina is right about grieving. I grieved for the life I thought I’d have, the grandchildren and retirement I won’t see. The loss of my profession when I found I was unable to work. 

It took time to work through the feelings of sadness and anger in particular. I think it’s a bit like the bear hunt. We’re going on a bear hunt, we’re gonna catch a big one. Oops! Sadness! Can’t go over it, can’t go under it, got to go through it. 

People talk about living in the day as if that’s a panacea. It can be great - just focusing on the cup of tea I’m drinking right here, right now. But what if today brings pain, or sadness, or more bad news? I’ve found meditation very useful for understanding that although I might feel overwhelmed by sadness, anxiety or pain, actually it’s just one of the things I might feel in any given day or moment. If only I can take that step back, stop judging myself and be inquisitive about my feelings, then I usually find that somewhere in the mix there is also joy and delight. 

I have also learned that it’s better for me to accept the shrinking horizons and find ways to do the things I enjoy (for example replacing my beloved bicycle with an electric bike) than to mourn their loss. 

It’s good to hear from you and I am looking forward to getting to know you more 

love and hugs xxx

Hello, yes you can call me Ellie. I always knew I was in trouble when my mum used my Sunday name Elinor lol.  I am struggling, I cant seem to laugh or smile any more.  I hate it when someone say live in the day as well. A day of misery, well they should try it.  I miss my other life, we both liked travelling and went as often as we could.  I'm glad I got to Australia and America. We wanted to go to Pompeii for my 60th last month but I didnt feel up to it, so we dodnt go. I feel robbed of everything and am quick to tears. I dont know how my husband copes. We have a dog so that makes me go out twice a day otherwise I would just wallow in self pity at home.  It would be nice to speak to someone who understands but there isn't any one.  I sincerely hope you keep well x

I would like to say that all will be fine and it will get better with time but I find that it comes in waves and has many triggers, however you learn strategies to deal with it. At times however you need to just accept that it is hard and you do have a right to be down. I have a day every few weeks where I allow self pity and just do nothing, I have never told my friends but yesterday a close friend said  " i take it Tuesday was your down day" as apparently I had not replied to any contact. 

I have a number of photos of my grandchildren that I use to spur me on. I also try to do something that helps someone else which says I am still able to do things for others. 

My background of working with children who have disabilities also helps me with reality checks if I get morbid. 

My friends ask if I get mad and say "why Me" I don't actually as the answer "why not me " would just spring back. I can always think of others who have it harder than me but I am no martyr either. I want more time with my loved ones, I want nice things and holidays, I don't want to be decrepit or in pain, I don't want to be thinking about funerals etc. I still shed a tear when I say goodbye to someone as the thought I may never see them again comes to mind. 

It is alright though so long as you get back on the horse and say tomorrow will be a better day and if not I will cope. 

Don't let the cancer destroy what you still have but accept grief is part of that also. 

Take care 

Hi MAZ59, Sorry I'm late getting back to you but I've had a virus & been in bed. Anyway, when I first tried to get travel insurance I was quoted £9,000 and that was for a four week holiday in Benidorm, not the Bahamas! I just laughed! There is a Travel Insurance Group in the community, worth having a look! Now we don't go away for any more than 3 weeks (that extra week costs mega bucks). I've been with MIA, Eurotunnel and am now with Boots and get Annual Insurance which is fantastic!

By the way, I'd never "wing it"! Pardon the pun!

Thanks all for advice I will try again when I next want to leave these shores.

Hi Daloni

my name Is Tamencio and I have womb cancer that has spread. I so identified with your post. I nursed my husband with pancreatic cancer  last year and now I have been diagnosed. I have a 12 year old adoptive son and I grief the grandchildren I won’t see, the man I hope he becomes and the retirement and travel plans I won’t necessarily fulfil. I am off work as after feeling well and not seeing a GP for 10 years I suddenly became very ill. I was a children’s manager with a responsible job now everything feels out of control. I start active chemo next Thursday and feel scared. I am trying to have s normal routine for my lovely boy but feel a little lost. Take care Tamencio 

Hi

I have just read your profile after reading your post. It has quite taken my breath away. Your family has such a lot to deal with. I’m so sorry you find yourself here but welcome  I hope this will be a place you can feel safe off loading difficult feelings. There is always a virtual shoulder to cry on here - and a virtual hurray when it’s needed too. 

Chemo is a tough one but it can be managed. I’m very happy to answer any questions you might have - and the women over in the womb cancer are a fountain of knowledge. I think the most useful thing I can say now is that a pattern of down days and up days is likely to emerge. I needed help with the kids most from days 3-8 when I had carbo taxol. 

Lots of love 

xxx

Thank you Daloni

you have made me feel less alone.

love

Tamencio xx

Hi Tamencio and welcome to this group! I am so sorry you find yourself being a carer and a patient, life just isn't fair! It must seem as if everything is against you at the moment but there's always hope and a lot of the people in this very group will testify to that! It's a roller coaster at the start but once you have started your treatment and you get into a routine, I hope things will settle down for you and things won't look as bad as they do now! There are plenty here past their "sell by date" of which I am one.. We are all here to help and support one another so feel free to ask anything, any time, there's usually someone here, day and night! It's not an easy road but try to take it a step at a time, day by day at a time and I do hope you will feel less scared!