Hello

Hi Ellieellie. I have secondary bone cancer too but from my kidney so I cant offer any advice on treatment that you may be given as it might be different. I was diagnosed as incurable from the beginning but am very lucky as that was 8 years ago and I still live a good life although in a wheelchair now. I realise I am very lucky to still be here many are not as fortunate but please know it is possible.

Hello Ellieelie,

I'm so sorry you're in this position and think I understand something of how you're feeling.

I'm 61 and have stage IV metastatic breast cancer with spread to my brain, skull, ribs, pelvis and spine. I found out in Feb that it had spread to my liver, and was shocked, because my Consultant had been hopeful that I'd have a far longer period of stability.

I started oral chemo, and have struggled with complications since then. I had a hospital admission with pleurisy and pneumonia a couple of months ago, and it looks as though the cancer has spread to my lungs. The liver tumour has grown, but I'm not aware of any symptoms from it.

I've definitely been through a grieving process, and the feeling that time is running out. It's natural to feel scared when things change.

 Overall though, I've still got a reasonably good quality of life and have had some great times with friends and family.

I'm trying to focus on what I have had, rather than what I'll be missing, but it's hard at times. I know exactly what you mean about old couples and babies!

I think you have to allow yourself to grieve. You will adjust to this new normal, however threatening it feels at the moment, and hopefully there will be another plan that will keep you well and stable for a long time to come. There are many people on this site that started trial drugs beyond this point, and are doing well several years down the line.

I hope you've got lots of support, and will get back to living for the day. xx

Hi ellieelle, welcome to the group, I understand your feelings entirely, you are not alone, the group is very helpful, whether just as a reader or as someone who posts. I am quite new here too, so I am not sure I have good tips to cope - so far I have done all my death admin (will, final wishes, stopping work, I’m only 48 so I was not at all organised!).  I thought this would be really difficult but actually it kept me busy during the initial shock period.  The other thing I have found really useful was to see my gp.  He sorted it so I’ve seen the palliative care nurse and am going to the hospice next week for counselling - I know these are scary words and hard to think about but they have been so helpful, I feel really supported by my healthcare professionals and that has helped.  I may not need them soon (although my prognosis was not too good) but knowing what is there has helped me a lot.

otherwise I am just taking it one day at a time - that helps too!

Remember though your cancer has spread there are lots of treatments and trials, so hopefully you will find one that will stop this in its tracks.

wishing you all the best, Heather x

Welcome from me too. 

It is a shock and I agree with the others that the practical (death admin - love that) can help distract whilst the emotional catches up. The suggestions about palliative care and hospice are good too - worth exploring. 

Do nice things - life's too short (for us!) Enjoy the good days. 

Nice to meet you. 

Thank you for your reply.  I feel a little better now x

Hello, nice to meet you too. X

Hello,  thank you for your kind words x

Thank you for your kind words x

*Waves*

Welcome to the group where you can be as weird, emotional, angry, silly, whatever that you want with no judgements. 

Lass

Xx

Dear Ellie

I hope you will find some comfort from this group. No one will judge you here - whatever you want to say, this is a safe place. Do you have a Macmillan nurse? They are usually very helpful and can provide information on all sorts of things that may make life easier - benefits etc. 

Xxx