Did you ask your prognosis?

You’re right, the question is always there in the background isn’t it?! Even though they’ve given me a “ball park” it’s not really helped because that thought is now always there. 

I agree, ive made a few plans for when I need to and got some things written down, but it’s not something I am completely focusing on now. However it was at the time of being told which is why I started, and it definitely helped me get my head around things and I feel better having a few plans in place. Spending time with the people that are important to us is definitely the way forward! 

Il sorry to hear you had a not so routine appointment and the feeling that something isn’t right. Fingers crossed nothing is said at your next appointment and all is well 

The oncologist I trusted has retired and I’m about to meet a new one. I’m worried he might want to tell me my prognosis. The other one was very good at picking up signals and telling me what I wanted to know, but not what I didn’t. This one might be the same, of course. I won’t know till I’ve met him.

I have always found it difficult to move to anyone else even though at times my oncologist is absolutely useless and has made a few really big blunders, at other times I know he gets it just right. I also have a good relationship with his secretary and his nurse who tell me to keep giving him a kick up the backside. Over the years we have developed a strange relationship he still is very forgetful and often ill prepared but he listens to what I say accepts it when mistakes are made (usually blames someone else) and has come to learn, that although my body reacts differently to most, I know exactly when I am getting an infection and when allergies especially to drugs start. Only a few weeks ago I was offered a new oncologist that has started a clinic and my husband in particular thought it was a good idea. But I just could not go through having to explain everything again and start new. 

I was lucky to be able to speak to someone who knew both oncologist and whereas one is much more a people person and better at doing what he should mine is a better clinician and knows the drugs better. 

I know it is not the same for you as your oncologist is leaving. I was able to make the decision to stay put. 

Good luck with the new person.

Thanks Maz. I’m sure he’ll be fine but change is so worrying when there’s so much uncertainty about.

Hi, mummyb

It's only been ten days since I heard my diagnosis of stage 4b from the smallest of symptoms which took me to my GP only about a month ago, and in a couple of hours, I go to the hospital for my kidney function test pre palliative chemo.

In this context, reading your post this morning has been a healing balm.

- I am not fond of the oncologist at all and neither is my very supportive partner and had not thought about asking to change

- I knew that no-one knew (prognosis) but reading that you were told 12 to 18 months (I was told 17) and are with us 6 years on is encouraging me not to spend the majority of my time thinking and planning for my exit.

Thank you so much and very best wishes to all on this wonderful forum

a newcomer x

I should have added that I did ask. But I was in such a state (end of diagnosis consultation where I was told all in one go that 1 I had cancer 2 it had spread 3 it could not be operated on 4 they didn't know if the chemo would help...) that perhaps I didn't realise what I was doing. The answer, however, even from this oncologist I'm not fond of, was very measured and tactful. He did answer, but I felt he made it very clear that no-one knows. The figure still hits you like a ton of bricks. I suspect it doesn't matter what the figure is and that it's probably the same if you go and see a palm-reader. :-)

x

Hi clg03

Lordy. I’m so sorry to hear about the ton of bricks that’s just landed on your life. Welcome to the club no one wants to join but that so many of us are glad we did. I’m glad you found this conversation calming. 

I hope your kidney function test passes smoothly 

love and hugs xxx

Hi clg03

so sorry to hear you’ve got this horrible disease but I’m pleased to know I’ve given you some hope.

hope you manage to tolerate your treatment with little side effects.

take care.x

Thanks, daloni. I was definitely glad to find the group.

Kidney test went well (though I don't know the results).

Then I signed the papers for the chemo. It's all going so fast...!

Now waiting for first chemo appt.....

Thank you so much. Take care  x