Three Good Things

Hello All

After 4 very dark days of little sleep, nightmares, nausea and exhaustion, the sun is out in all ways today.

I don’t usually waste my time on anger at having Cancer but this cycle has made me very angry at the vulnerability I feel when things go wrong I have no control over and I’m the one who suffers.

I am certain I have been worse this cycle because of the hospitals delay last week. In all 20 extra steroids is unacceptable. They affect me so much. I want to say ‘this must not happen again’ but my treatment is under their control and I’ve found such varying ‘caring attitudes’ amongst the staff. Some are so very bristly if you say anything. Others are just angels.

Enough wallowing!

1. I really believe I feel better today and slept better because I went to sleep with happier thoughts of my memories of holding babies after your post Polly. It really did help me.

2. I’ve managed to get dressed today and don’t feel so nauseous. I’m even feeling able to walk around my garden as I’ve found even that too much till today.

3. Feeling grateful there are all you out there understanding.

XX

Hi, have been so fatigued have not been able to stay on here long. Daloni, you posted back a bit, that it was like wearing a lead overcoat. I so understand.

Daloni, your crochet is so beautiful. Enjoyed reading about your day with you older daughter receiving her Duke of Edinburgh Gold  and the photos, also.

Thank you, Polly for sharing your news. Congrats on becoming Granny Polly. Your words lifted many of us up and brought back tender memories.

Annette, you have been so brave. Am thankful that you have slept some. I usually suffer insomnia and have often been on this site in the wee hours. Lately however, have been sleeping life away. Seems like can barely stay conscious.

Have appointment with oncologist finally. He comes here once a month, but does not want to wait until the June clinic to see me.  We will make the 3 hour drive to the hospital. The longest part of it is the winding narrow way to the motorway. I enjoy this part except encountering other motorists on the corners! Once on the motorway you are there in a shake.

My three good things from yesterday.

Hubby took me to our favourite country walk, through an old gate off a country lane, and along a cowpath beside a little stream. We do it every year and I am so thankful still able to do.

1)Saw wildflowers and butterflies.

2)Heard trees sighing with the wind.

3)The sunshine warm on my back.

 Fell asleep after our sandwiches!

Today's three:

1) Reading your Good Things.

2) The bloom on the neighbor's plum, quince and apple.

3) In the lane met young girl, of poodle-in-a pushchair fame (reference to a previous post) with three small children of her look in tow. Clutched under one arm she had a black duck. The youngest child, seemingly in the way of explanation said, "She 'uz  quackin' an' we'uz got her."

Thank you all for keeping this thread going. 

Hi Lin

im glad you are feeling a little stronger. Your walk sounds lovely. 

Why else would you be carrying a black duck under your arm? Obviously because it was quackin. Your comment made me smile. 

Enjoy the warm sunshine it definitely lifts the spirits. 

Polly

Hi

I have just caught up properly with all your goings on and feel happy and sad. Polly I’m gutted for you re your scan. Trials can be a trial but the first step is getting referred to a trials centre. Where are you geographically ? 

yes I am totally with you on the steroids. They do a marvellous job managing side effects and may make the chemo more effective but I react to them so strongly. I hope you carry on feeling better. 

I am off for my chemo tomorrow- it should have been Monday but they let me off a couple of days for the DofE extravaganza and to take my younger daughter to various dull appointments today.  I have had some energy today and that’s felt like a small window before it all starts again so my three good things 

1. The beech trees in May always bring joy to my heart. There are several roads near where I live that are green tunnels and today I cycled along one of them on my electric bike. The sun was shining through the leaves and it was just beautiful 

2. I bought myself two new cotton nighties from M&S. I’m having nightsweats at the moment where I wake up at 3am soaked through. Ugh. New cotton nighties will make life more comfortable 

3. My younger daughter finally found the voice to tell me some of her troubles. Not easy to hear but a relief to see her starting to open up. 

Good luck with your chemo tomorrow Daloni. I'm glad you've managed to enjoy the small pleasures of nightie buying and spending time with your girls. My medical team are in Edinburgh. I luckily have private health care but it's only covered in Scottish hospitals. However I assume the trials would be referred by NHS. I've asked to have a second opinion to try to get a few more options to open up for me. My CNS is looking into who would be appropriate. Ideally probably Glasgow based for 2nd opinion but just want to see if my doctor is telling me the whole story particularly in light of the good/bad scan results. 

Take care. Hope the chemo isn't too awful

Polly

Daloni, I will be thinking about you having your treatment tomorrow (well, really later today!) Hope it all goes smoothly for you!

Polly, If I was in your position, I'd ask for a second opinion at the West of Scotland Cancer Care Centre in Glasgow, this is where I attend and the oncologist definitely went the extra mile for me to get the trial drug when I failed to meet the criteria to be part of the trial! If it wasn't for her, I would not still be here! I do think you have to have complete trust in your oncologist to do the best for you and to be open and honest! Good luck!

Hi Annette

Thank you for that information it's great to have a recommendation. Somewhere that seems proactive and also Scotland!

I will do some research and see who also does private work so I can try to get an early appointment. 

Polly

We are on holiday in Crete just the 3 of us and despite the about of pain I'm in I determined to enjoy it

My 3 things today 

1) we are on holiday

2) the sun is shining and I'm making my husband order cocktails so I can have a sip lol

3) we are child free for the morning so we are lazing arrive the pool 

I hope all appointments and treatments today go as planned x

Hi Button 16,

I hope you have a lovely holiday and enjoy the sunshine and the rest and cocktails!

My three good things,

Doctors appointment yesterday and we agreed that I could stop taking the Warfarin. Hooray! So today I enjoyed a grapefruit for breakfast. It was lovely.

So warm yesterday that I wore summer clothes again, now I am hoping that summer is really here now and all the winter clothes can be packed away.

Spent time in the garden yesterday  pruning another shrub that had finished flowering, job well done, today I can relax and look forward to seeing my granddaughters after school.

I hope this warmth and sunshine is helping you all to feel brighter, it always works for me.

Love and hugs

Maggie xx

That is absolutely brilliant, Kircal. A new wee grandson! Get those cameras out!

Lots of love

Alison xxx