Feel let down by my church

Hi sorry to hear you feel let down and you do sound like you miss going to church at this time of day.  Would you be able to use public transport to get there, or taxi?

if you could once you are there maybe you could ask if anyone living near you could offer you a lift, sometimes you might not notice someone who is a regular is missing, I know I have thought someone may just be on holiday or going elsewhere or a host of other reasons and not actually that they can’t get there.

i hope you find a solution both in how to get there and also to address your disappointment too with vicar and maybe others.

my best wishes to you x

I live in a fairly isolated rural area and there are no buses on Sundays. Taxi's are also difficult and expensive as there is no local taxi firm. 

It's a very small community and I have left messages for the church wardens explaining why I can't get to church to take the collection, read etc.. so people are aware of the problem. What I can't understand is that if I have been able to make that journey for so many years and the vicar can't make it to me, even once. 

Hi irishrambling,

im so sorry to hear that people aren’t offering to give you lifts especially when you live in a small rural community. It sounds like you have shared why you can’t go but perhaps you are not being specific in asking for lifts. It may sound strange but sometimes people think someone else will always offer. Do you think it would be helpful to go back to your Vicar and ask if he cannot help perhaps he could help you come up with some other solutions at this time?  I’ve been in similar situations, feeling confused and a little hurt, I found it helpful to speak to Jesus asking him for direction on how to approach others and also if there was anything more I could do. Sending much love to you. Please keep us updated,

Yes, I can identify with that. I can speak to my Friend any time of the day and ask for his help. 

I could be in bed or struggling on the toilet. 

He said that he would be with me always. 

Good morning folks.

Sorry to hear that some are dealing with this challange post treatments. This is actually a much wider issue across all walks of life following a cancer diagnosis and treatments. You would think that people who you have meet with and even been friends with for years would understand the challenges and get active - but for some its just not the case.

I am a rather direct talking person........'if you don't ask you don't get'. It has been said that it can take some perseverance to get the message across "I need some transport support please"

We have a number of folks in our Church who can't drive, live a number of miles away but we have arranged (insert asked) a number of folks to help out once every 6 weeks and all said yes. The direct approach can open doors.

I think you do need to get your pointy elbows into the doors of your Church Leaders/Vicar/Friends and just point blankly ask and see what reaction you get.

((hugs))

I have attended my church for twenty years. There are about a thousand members scattered all over London. My local pastorate, is not very local for me! Two buses and a train, an hour away.

I am positive that if I asked for help, I would get it willingly, but I have always been a rather private person, and reliant , with the help of my Friend, on my own efforts.

after four years of medical problems post radiation therapy on my prostate, I now realise that I need to open up, and let my church family know what is going on, if I need help, to keep it simple, and JUST ASK!!

we are a family!!!

But I have asked my vicar for communion when I couldn't leave the house and been told I live too far away. 

Just a thought, my husband diagnosed in March had an experience with a very close friend, who didn't visit or offer help etc, when my husband saw him for first time after treatment the friend just said waved from a distance, my hubby a quiet man, challenged him and told him directly he felt disgusted and disappointed in him, the friend just said it was  too hard for him!

the friend turned up at our house the next day, remorseful and teary and apologised, he simply was doing avoidance, he didn't know how to be with his friend with cancer, he was only seeing his own feelings and could offer no empathy to my husband, he thanked my husband and told him he had been given a kick up the backside that he had needed,  he said he had as a result of my husbands straight talking also  rang his sick brother to ask how he was.

maybe just maybe, the vicar doesn't know how to be....I'm with the highlander, maybe some straight talking, asking the direct question, please can someone help, sometimes we have to put our pride in our pockets, sometimes we offer the gift of leaning to others in a way we didn't expect or intend.

i really hope someone hears you, if they are not hearing you now. Maybe change the language 

don't give up.......good luck x

It should have read sometimes we offer the gift of learning not )leaning)

People are sometimes afraid of saying the wrong thing,or can not think of anything to say that is helpful. Some are still trying to get over the loss of someone else close to them. Still grieving.

I feel sure that virtually everyone, in a congregation, actually does care They just don't know what to do or say.

There is One who does care more than we really can grasp. He suffers when we are going through difficult times.

I run to Him, my hiding place, when I am afraid. He said "I am with you always"

ALWAYS!!!

You are a member of my family. That is why I am writing this. I have never met you,but I care.

Bless!