THE ORIGINAL GANG OF MUSHROOM ROPE BUILDERS (i.e Mel & Em's thread cont...)
FormerMember
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This is the start of a new journey for me and my much loved friends from the original Oesophegus thread on general discussions.
We have become a close group and this will be our new home to continue our journey as life has become very hard for many of us and we keep re-living our journeys with lots of newbies which puts us all back a bit.
So my lovely friends Mel, Sam, Helen, Bern, Jac, Nic, Dawn, Sue, Cath, Lesley, Jani and the many other special friends Mel and I have made over the last 16 months this is it we have a new home.
Love to all and extra strength to carry us through our next stage XXX
FormerMember
Im so, so sorry friends I am not ignoring you and I am sorry if I have worried you. XXX
I am feeling really unwell again on top of feeling crap mentally. Tony and I have made a decision to get the estate agents out to value the house and also rental quote so we can make the big decisions.
We are both feeling pretty fed up with everything other than each other and the kids so feel a new environment(with sun!) and less stress is yelling at us right now. It's still early days and we are both impulsive people so it may happen it may not!!!!
Life is shit and I am lucky to have my wonderful hubby and kids to keep me going. But my god it hurts like hell right now.
Hi Lesley and thanks - there wasn't any meet arranged as such, or you would have been included! It was our Helen - she went on tour! First she came to stay with me, then Sue, they then popped over to see Mel one day and finally Bern popped over to see them on Sunday. We are thinking of arranging a proper meet soon so I take it you will be interested? X
Mel - yes, the floppy hat pic did make me smile. I would still like to see you in yours though so make sure you bring it with you to our next meet. Or, you could just e-mail me a pic! X
Come on Em - please come out to play, the place isn't the same without you X
Helen - you know we will ALL have everything crossed for you hun. Remember to give the doc my message this afternoon! X
Kelsey - thanks to you too, my legs are a little less sore today! Hope you are ok X
Nic - you are so quiet as well at the moment. Thinking of you X
Bern - I take it you are working hard? X
Wendy - no news yet? X
Jac, Den, Cath, Dawn - big hugs for you all X
Today I am having a bad day although I'm not sleeping too well at the mo so that may be why. Have had a good cry so hopefully will feel a little better now although still very tired. Got back into bed after taking little one to school but still no sleep! Hubby and I have been talking about starting to take one or two things out of Dad's house, just to make a start. I'm really not sure if I'm ready yet but do feel that that time may never come and things do need to be sorted now. It's just a hard thing to have to do. Someone (or all) please give me a kick up the backside!
Love to all,
Sam X
ps I was also wondering about how David (Lindale) is. Does he know where to find us now?
I hope you don't mind, i know i don't post much anymore (i couldn't find the reply button it's been that long!) but i just wanted to hop on the thread and say thankyou to those who wished me a happy birthday, it has meant so much!
On my birthday i had an old friend say 'beck, life goes on' when i looked offended he said 'well i'm realistic'. he was stood next to his dad as he said this and i was left speechless! but i'm learning to laugh, i'm on a different journey and i'm glad he has the innocence to not know what his words meant in a way.
And on here, we are all in the same boat and many of you know what it is like to experience big days without the one person we would really like to wish us a happy birthday, and i'm so touched you thought of me last week :) though it did make me cry a fair bit, it's a pretty special place to be here and you reminded me of the good things that have come out of a rough year. i just wanted to send my thanks and warmest hugs to everyone.
i'm also running the race for life on sunday, and amongst the name requests i've added, my t shirt says 'for my mac friends, thankyou'. i'll be thinking of everyone as i run (walk)
I also seem to be surrounded by people who think it is their duty to inform me that 'Life goes on'. I have gained a new talent though.
You see the way I look it is, if they feel thay can say what they want to me with out using their sensitivity filter, well so can I, afterall I am the one grieving, and losing a loved one trumps everything.
The last person who said to me "Life goes on" was calmly told "you are a complete arse"
They then proceeded to stumble over their words apologising and insisting that they didn't mean to offend me. I told them no offense taken but you are still an arse. They stood there open mouthed not knowing what to say.
The best bit was, as I walked away the other person standing with us said "Oh, the poor love, she's still struggling with her grief, bless her"
So not only did I get to say exactly what I wanted to, I got blessed for it too !
My son's teacher pulled me aside before the half term holidays, to say that he had been very difficult in school the last week. I explained that it could be his way of getting his grief out and I would talk to him. The teacher then said "Oh no I don't think it's that, as when it happened he coped really well, and that all happened a while ago"
A while ago !!!!! 7 weeks is a while ago ! I managed to use my sensitivity filter with her, only just !
The thing is that Matt is 5 years old, and he has asked many questions lately like "Do you stop when you are 62 years old" etc.
He also keeps talking about a dream he has where all his teeth fall out. I thought it might be a sign that he was going to lose his first milk tooth, but when I looked it up in my dream book, it says that this dream in children indicates that a child is feeling anxious about getting old.
I don't understand why others feel that there is a time frame to grief, especially when they have not experienced it.
i'm not sure if this mail will make any sense as I'm ridiculously tired! went to the Paul Mc concert on sunday and although got to see the gig was running around working like a loon for quite a few hours before then. i think i'm too old for late nights!
gig was ace - cried when he sang something and yesterday!
anyway just thought i'd drop a quick post and say hi.
Sam - well done on your run! mine is the end of the month and my training doesn't seem to be going too well - just can't be consistent with it!
Mel - i love that reply to the woman who said life goes on - brilliant!
my little boy is 6 and was 5 when dad died. Matthew has taken it really hard and luckily the school just said they would keep an eye on him (that was in October and dad died in July so they clearly understand a bit more!) matthew still talks about dad a lot and will cry and be sad. He sometimes hesitates talking about him because we cry, but mum loves hearing the grandchildren talking about him even if it makes us cry! he is obsessed by age and people dying at particulary ages. doesn't get why his other grandad hasn't died and he's older than Dad was, etc. Last year he draw a picture and wrote a letter (well as much as a 5 yr old can!) to Dad and asked me to post it! i don't think people should underestimate the impact it can have on a little boy and girl - they might not understand everything that is going on, but then do we? all they know is that they miss them and that can come out in different ways, just like we react in different ways.
We have a saying in our office - people are stupid! not all I hasten to add, but you know what I mean don't you!?
anyway my brain is getting more fuddled now. I need a power nap!
I just loved your retort and am going to remember that for when it's my turn. Why do people think they have the right to preach other than the fact they don't think at all?!!!
Em - so sorry to hear you're not doing so well. My hubby would love to emigrate and I'm the one 'stopping' him in a way because I don't want to leave my family. However, I'm beginning to consider it more seriously for the future. Good on you, I admire you.
Well everyone I called dad's GP today who was very sympathetic and she's asked us to try and get him in this week so she can talk to him as a side issue about how he's feeling and prescribe anti depressants. She'd got his Mac nurse to call as well within the hour so mom had a conversation with him which will have done her some good. She wouldn't ever consider 'disturbing' someone 'just to talk' but the fact he called it would be OK.
He wants to check his calcium levels as they may be too high.
I asked the doctor if this could be indicative of a spread to the brain and she said yes but it needn't be. I think they will explore other options first. For example she said it's rather common for people with a serious illness to push it to the back of their mind and try to ignore it. However, inevitably the day comes that they can't ignore it any longer and it manifests itself in anger and aggression. We'll have to wait to see which it is.
Had a very busy day today, sorting this out and then working flat out and in back to back meetings until 3.30. I had 2 drinks all day and no lunch but walked through the door at home and hubby had made his delicious home made carbonara with some garlic bread and a glass of white wine. Oh and before that I had a nice cup of coffee so I feel a bit better already. Now for a night reading and watching TV.
Just wanted to let you all know quickly that your good wishes worked and i is home at mo - yippee - back in tomorrow for some bits and the results of these will dictate if i can be at home for the weekend.
Thanks again guys - off for a nap but will be back later to read and chat.
Squeeshy hugs all round as i think we may need them.
