THE ORIGINAL GANG OF MUSHROOM ROPE BUILDERS (i.e Mel & Em's thread cont...)
FormerMember
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This is the start of a new journey for me and my much loved friends from the original Oesophegus thread on general discussions.
We have become a close group and this will be our new home to continue our journey as life has become very hard for many of us and we keep re-living our journeys with lots of newbies which puts us all back a bit.
So my lovely friends Mel, Sam, Helen, Bern, Jac, Nic, Dawn, Sue, Cath, Lesley, Jani and the many other special friends Mel and I have made over the last 16 months this is it we have a new home.
Love to all and extra strength to carry us through our next stage XXX
FormerMember
Morning all
Bern - well, I hope you are proud of yourself, look what you've managed to do, you've got us all talking. What would we do without you and your wise words? X
Em - see how many friends you have? Keep hanging on, as we all love you and we will keep pulling. You can do this my friend X
Michelle - thank you for your kind words yesterday. The gut wrenching feeling you describe is exactly right, that's how it feels. It is still very early days for you hun and you will probably find that the images you have of your Dad when he was poorly will lessen and you will remember him more as he was before. I hope you managed to sleep through the night last night, it's awful lying awake for hours X
Donna - never think that what you are going to write is petty and that others are going through so much that you shouldn't speak up yourself. It is a mistake we all make but it does help to share X
Nic - methinks it is your turn to spill? Hope you are ok, you've gone quiet again. Hugs ((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))) (no, it wasn't a mistake hee hee) X
Jac - the answer is yes, we will all be here for you, always. Whenever you feel alone, think of us all sat with you, giving you our special hugs. We are with you in spirit, you are not alone. I do wish you luck, it is so very tough sometimes but I know that your love for your man, will help you find a way to fix things X
Rochelle - ((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))). We will all be thinking of you tomorrow and I'm so glad that you will have our Melly with you, as she will be able to pass on lots of hugs and kisses from us all, to give you extra strength X
Den - how are things with you and your bump? X
Wendy - thinking of you lots and hope all is well with you and little Will X
Helen - mate, hope you are being good. Well, as good as you ever are! Hee Hee X
SAM Sam - the hugs for all yesterday, were very much appreciated. Hope your day is a good one X
Kelsey - where have you gone again? Come on girl, we need as many hands on that rope as possible at the moment. Hope you ok X
Mel my dear friend - you, like our Bern, have a wonderful way with words. You have said so many things that I (and so many others) can relate to. Hun, your Mum will not have felt fear, she had her lovely daughter by her side all the way. Thank you so much for yesterday, you have helped me to make a decision. You will also be pleased to know, that I have managed to find homes for a few of Dad's bits, including the car! Thank you X
Cath - I'm glad you have come back to share too and you are not waffling - like you said, it helps us all to know that we are not alone with the way that we are feeling. Please don't stay away because you feel you don't have anything to say, we all have to stop doing that now X
Lesley, Dawn - hope you are both ok and still doing it X
Hope that I haven't missed anyone out. Please give me a kick if I have. I'm off to make an important phonecall, one that I hope will help me to turn a corner.
Hard times for many, thank god we have each other!
Hi Mel, regrets stem from not being in touch for 7 years after parents divorced(he became self absorbed) also for not letting Dad be at home at the end. Fears well where do I start I fear I will lose one of my brothers to this, I fear I may get this, I fear the way I have changed, I fear who I am becoming, I fear what life has in store for me, I fear I will drive my friends away but most of all I fear my children will never understand why I am this person I have become!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Em, I had my years of not being in touch with my Mum, and although I can look back and feel that I wasted precious time, I also feel that it was what it was, but the most important thing was that when she needed me, I was there.
Your lovely Dad may have also had regrets about those 7 years, and if he told you, you would have said "Dad it doesn't matter, we are together now"
You cared and supported your Dad, you helped your brothers come to terms with his terminal diagnosis, you upheld his wish for your Mum not to attend, you did the best that you could Em. No one could ask for more.
As for fearing this disease, you are sensible to do so. You will remain vigilant, but fearing what may or may not happen has no impact on it actually happening. So remain vigilant, but live your life without fear Emma, do not let cancer take your future, it already takes way to much.
Em, honey. It doesn't matter about 7 years, 10 years...you were there when it mattered. When it mattered most to your dad. As Mel said, you did what your dad wanted.
Losing someone close makes us realise the pain that can be felt. We can't stop it happening, but we can live a more sheltered, insular life so we don't ever get hurt again......think of how much you would miss out on.
Turn that on its head, make the most of everyday that we have cause what will be will be, so enjoy, love and make those around you know how special they are to you. Grab life by the throat. You can do this, the worst fear is fear itself. I am petrified of sharks...I went scuba diving - I loved it and realised 'wow life is wonderful ' thankfully no sharks appeared. I confronted my fear honey. I realised afterwards though that I do that every day. I did that everyday I visited my dad when he was dying. You did the same and are still doing it.
You are developing as a young woman. Whose children know how loved they are. Know what it is to be loved and the flip side of that is pain of losing loved ones. When I was growing up I had relatives die. Hubby never encountered that - which I found strange. You are teaching them life and you as their mum are one of the best teachers - along with dad of course.
No more beating yourself up. Take a deep breaths. You are a great woman, a wonderful daughter, a loving wife and your children think you are a super duper mum - who gets cranky at times and isn't as cool as she thinks -but hey all kids think that, so you are doing a marvellous job!! Love Bernx xx
em - don't beat yourself up over how you feel. Half the step is acknowledging it and being able to verbalise it, which you have done. I am on the same stage of the journey as you are and although everyone is different, i totally understand why you are feeling as you are. I was crying when i posted last night too.
((((((((((((((((((( Cath ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I cannot believe it will be a year so soon X
Roch, I will be thinking of you tomorrow hunny but I know Mel will take good care of you.X
Dawn, Friday is fast approaching no words I can say will change the way you feel but know that I am sorry Vince is gone and you and the kids have spent the last year without him. X
em i know it's frightening, but we've got to remember that no matter how tough it's been and we know it has been, we've got through (almost) that year and amongst the tears and heartache, we've laughed and smiled and remembered. Keep holding on to that thought when the going is really tough.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
High up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go If you never try you'll never know Just watch and learn
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
