What would you tell yourself on the day you were diagnosed?

Well said Ixa.

So sorry to hear your news though - but it looks like you have the best attitude towards it, keep that up!!!

I think we all learn something about ourselves (and others) with a diagnosis and I would personally say that I am a better person for it , notwithstanding the physical aspect that is!!!

All the very best wishes for the start of your "journey" - there is lots of support on here for you.

KrisPy

If I could go back to the day I was diagnosed with Stage 4 incurable (but potentially treatable) metastasic melanoma, I’d tell myself that I will deal with this better than I could imagine. My curiosity will be my best partner, and my awareness of “being alive” will stand me in really good stead.

I’d also tell myself not to wait for the illness to make me feel ill before I allow myself to live. My diagnosis is serious, but for a long time I won’t actually feel like a sick person. There will be treatment and there will be side effects, but there wI’ll also be ordinary days, good days, laughter, plans, travel and things to look forward to.

So live my best life while I can—not because I’m pretending the cancer isn’t there, but because it is there and I‘m still here. Don’t give the illness more of my life than it actually needs to take.

And don’t assume I know how the story progresses and ends. I don’t.

The first thing I had to remember was that I was diagnosed and that things would move quickly to put a plan in place.

I wish I'd realised how difficult it could be to find the right person or group to ask about side effects and pain relief following radiotherapy.

Being open and honest with family, friends and colleagues about what was happening to me and how I felt was - and remains - important. The first time I said "I have prostate cancer" was difficult, but it got easier.

Trucker61 said:

I'm a better and stronger human being, it has taught me I'm  a lot and in a strange way I'm grateful to have had this experience to help me find a peace and tranquility  that is the new person I've become. 

So happy to read this. Having survived a similar treatment I never realised a doctor could do such a dreadful thing to his patient. I agree that coming through such a vicious physical assault stirs you up and either makes you a stronger, kinder and more resilient person or eats away into your soul forever. I see both though the latter is thankfully not so common

On reflection and through experience, I would say, be strong Alan as all the professionals who you hope are there to support you are playing lip service at best. Practically every person I have engaged with has let me down. From the surgeon who openly admitted not reading the prostate biopsy result and in doing so missed the fact my cancer had begun metasisising, to the PALs team who didn’t even mention it in there response to my complaint, on to the GMC who advised me there was no evidence that this was more than a one off incident and now the oncologist who promised that she would be there for me but hasn’t replied to three calls to discuss my treatment. 
I am at my whits end. I need to decide on my further treatment but I can not trust the advice and information is based on what is best for me or nothing more than a pat on the head and the cheapest or most readily available. I gave all my life to supporting others but When I need support it just isn’t there.

I am not sure if this is self pity but I am struggling, really struggling. 

Hello Alan (Al985 ) 

I know your story and understand where you are.

Al985 said:

and now the oncologist who promised that she would be there for me but hasn’t replied to three calls to discuss my treatment. 

Sadly in this world today and on a lifelong journey you need to advocate for yourself. My advice is don't give up on the oncologist - it may just be her secretary not passing on your call details - it happens. Call her and call back until you get a reply - e-mail her if you can - don't just wait keep pushing.

Kind regards - Brian.

Totally in shock had no symptoms felt well couldnt take it in been 2 year of treatment but still very scary I would have accepted it more had I felt unwell 

Hello Theia 

I know just how you feel - I didn't feel unwell as such - I just went off beer and I knew I was ill!!

The Community is divided into cancer specific groups - if you come back to me and let me know what type of cancer you have I can direct you to that group where you can "meet" others on the same or similar journey.

Best wishes - Brian.

Only told Friday 21st August.Not yet started treament .Numb ,tears not quite believeing .Never expected it would happen to me .4 weeks on from a total Hysterectomy .Pulled myself together thankful for the wonderful care from the NHS.Thankful for my Doctor who put me on the fast track. Apprehensive for whats to come , but know so many other people are coping with this .So hopefully with support I can get through my treament .

Hello Poppey 

A warm welcome to the Online Community although I am so sorry to find you joining us. It's great to know the NHS have been there for you - I can't fault them for my treatment on my personal journey.

The Community is divided up into cancer specific groups so to "meet" others on the same or similar journey I would advise you to join the most appropriate group:

 Womb (uterus) cancer forum or

 Ovarian cancer forum 

Once you click on the link i have provided and the page opens up, click on join on the black banner at the bottom of the page. Once you have joined the group you can introduce yourself in the "New Here - Say Hello" section.

If you need any further help in navigating the Community please do get back to me.

I wish you well moving forward.

Best wishes - Brian.