I should be happy

Hi Ulan , yes I think it’s an excellent article. Someone on the forum once said it should be compulsory reading for health people who deal with us, and I agree! Hard to suggest it to friends and family though. I feel like most would prefer just to think of it as something unfortunate that happened but is now ‘finished’. 
Re how long it has taken to feel more like myself…. I really can’t pinpoint a time or event, but like other forms of grief I think it’s just gradually become more distant but it’s always there in the background, for me. But I would describe myself these days as happy and enjoying life. Different things make me happy though, than before. I’m so much more appreciative of simple stuff - my main hobby is walking and I just love it, partly the whole nature connection and partly because, luckily, whatever physical things I’ve had going on, I’ve pretty much always been able to get out and walk. I really value a few close friendships. And time spent with family. I enjoyed all that before, but am more conscious of it all now. I say no to a lot of group gatherings as in my circles it mostly involves drinking and I’ve given up altogether. I do like a cafe visit with friends but on the whole prefer just with one person. I’ve probably become rather boring but I really don’t care! 
Good luck with the whole grieving/ discovering your new normal process, it’s not easy but I’ve definitely found a good ‘place’ in the end. Love and hugs, HFxx

Hi HappyFeet1 , yes, a lot more people around us should read the article, I shared it with my mum hoping she’d get a better understanding of my emotional state . I’m fed up with people saying now you can move on , get back to normal , put it all behind you !! I bumped into a work colleague yesterday who said just that , I just wanted to scream ! 
I’m pleased to hear that you have found your new normal and are in a good place . You’re definitely not boring but living life as you want to and not being pressured into doing things you don want to .I hope to find that good place sometime in the future . 
take care xx

Life after cancer and treatment is definitely a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings. I finished my radiotherapy treatment 8 months ago, the day I had mt last session I was so happy. The day after I was fine felt a bit weird not doing anything but I was not prepared for the following two days of on and off crying and feeling so low I was consulting dr google. By the third day I was fine  and I had an appointment with my oncologist several days after and I said how I’d felt and she said that was completely normal. I officially got back to life in February, my anxiety and emotional levels were high when it came to getting back to work after nearly a year off. It took me a while to settle back in, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve cried in the office at work. I still have moments where I just need to cry or feel anxious about doing something. So your not alone at all even though you feel like your are. When we start our cancer journeys your life becomes all about that and going to appointments but when it all ends you have to create another new normal, re-discover yourself and who you are. I’ve referred myself for some additional help and support 

It sure is a roller coaster !! It’s going to be a challenge getting to a happy point and new normal . I have only recently finished the radiotherapy ( 25 sessions) and plan to go back to work in September to start the new school year. To be honest the thought of standing in front of a class of children fills me with anxiety, but I’m hoping with time and regular visits to a psychologist it will become less scary . 
I recommend getting some additional support , it really helps to talk things over . 
all the best 

Hi Ulan may I ask if you were offered chemo for your treatment at all? Iv had my lumpectomy done n they are offering me chemo but I don't k ow if I should take it or not. Radio is a must so I will definitely do that. 

Hi Starrrr, I wasn’t offered chemo because after analyzing the tumor the benefit of chemo was only 1-2%.Maybe ask your oncologist what benefits chemo has in your case before you decide . 

Ahhh ok think it may be because of my age I'm 37 years old and think mine is 6.5 % x

I don’t know about how age affects treatment. Try and discuss your options with your doctor , it was my oncologist who basically made the decision not to go through chemo with such a small benefit. Ask if the 6.5% is a reasonable benefit and what are the risks of not doing it .

Hiw are you feeling about the possibility of chemo ? Are you swayed one way or the other? X

Ummmm I'm absolutely torn between the two. When I speak to people who say it's gna be good for me I'm like yea yea ur right and when i speak to ppl who say i wouldn't benefit much as and is it worth me going though the whole process im like yea yea. Lol 

Initially I was thinking of not having it but now in 50 50 

It’s a tricky one ! Tbh I’m surprised the doctor has left you with the decision, when do you have to decide by?  Chemotherapy is tough , I’ve seen my husband go through it , so would make sure that’s it’s going to be beneficial before saying yes. X