How was your cancer announced to you?

Hi goldenbarrel. I totally agree the pandemic is amplifying everything, the days at home where you have time to think about it all and the anxiety of consultations, tests and procedures alone is so hard.  I went back to work the day after the diagnosis, I thought I'd be fine as I've been working from home since March 2020 but my job is quiet emotive and my emotional state was far from stable so as soon as I had a date for the the TURBT to remove the tumour I took a weeks leave, I was covered in hives and some mornings couldn't open my eyes for the swelling. The dr at A&E co sulfates with amd oncologist who believed this was stres related so I decided to switch off from everything and focus on me. Its now been 18 days since the procedure and the hives are still coming and going on days when I am tired and I am exhausted most days by mid afternoon. The company i work for will not allow me return to work until the cancer has been graded and I have a treatment plan so I am focusing on me and trying not to get disappointed when the day passes without a phone call from the hospital or a letter in the post. 

Absolutely everyone in my circle tells me I'm strong and I'll get through this, but none of know that for sure yet....and no one sees my tears of fear when I am alone. 

Tiny steps one day at a time......

Hi Aprildaisies75,The waiting around for tests and results is so stressful.If you need some support and friendship you will be made welcome over in the bladder cancer group.Best wishes Jane

Hi.......what group? Don't get me wrong the lobe and support ive been shown by friends and family is amazing, not a day has gone by where a surprise hasn't arrived on my doorstep, but while everyone means well they don't understand as they have never been through it so a group of people who know how I'm feeling may be beneficial for me during this worrying time x

I don’t know how to do a direct link but if you go to the cancer types section of the community and find the bladder cancer forum you should be able to click on that to join us.

Hi Aprildaisies75, The bladder cancer forum can be found here

Hi navanman2 I have found it now, thanks  

I can only imagine how you must be feeling as I still can't believe I went through all this myself, not being able to work was difficult as it makes you feel even more isolated, and people around want to be reassuring but are often making it sound worse without meaning it. It is tough to be a cancer patient carer / emotional support as they can't relate to what we are feeling from the inside or the outside. It is a good thing that your work is forcing you to be on sick leaves for the moment, you will go through so much inside your head until you manage to cope and wrap yourself around the entire idea of your diagnosis (it may takes sometime I am not going to lie) but your oncology team will be able to grant you a phase of return to work (i've been doing this for almost 4 months) so you get to work part time and keep your mind busy. One of the biggest issue I have with cancer is that it sometimes feels like my entire identity is now related to cancer. And I am so much more than my cancer, and we all are. Creative activities also helped me a lot, watching stupid shows and all kept my head empty from my own thoughts which feels amazing.

I have joined several support groups, some are for young adults going through cancer, some are for parents having children with the same diagnosis that I have etc, it really helped, the cancer community is showing so much love to each other that it really helped me accept it all. Waiting for exams results, diagnosis and all was such a pain in the a** , any delay in phone calls updates triggered me real hard, now I try not to think too much about it, i have a diagnosis, and an ongoing treatment so a lot of the dark area were enlightened. 

It is just a matter of time for you, you will soon know more, and the more you will know the better you will feel ! It is OK to be scared, but you are never alone even if it feels like it sometime (often to be honest) I hope you hear from your team soon and the hives will disappear ! Take care of yourself ~

Hi goldenbarrel, I know in a few weeks I'll look back at this time and it will seem so long ago but right now being it is soooooo hard. I just want to know what I'm facing either way. I'm very lucky, I work for the local authority and they are very supportive so I will not be allowed back to work for some time yet to ensure my mental health is where it should be and I will definitely be on a phased return thank heavens because right now I'm exhausted by lunchtime. 

Small steps  taking each day as it comes. Sending love. X

My wife was first diagnosed with cancer in 2016, she went to the GP with a lump on her breast - I couldn't feel it but she could.  The GP sent her for a precautionary scan, the nurse taking the scan said it's OK it's a cyst, but we have to do an ultrasound as it's procedure.  A Doctor and a Nurse were doing the ultrasound and quite chatty, I could see the screen, suddenly on the screen was what looked like an octopus, domed head and lots of legs.  Now I am an engineer and know that a cyst is a sack filled with fluid so it  will be football or rugby ball shaped. The Doctor spotted it, asked the Nurse for something to take a biopsy and never said another word.

We were left in the waiting room for what seemed like ages while others came and went. We were called into a room to be met by a Macmillan Nurse, at this point you know it's not going to end well.  She said that there was a concern that it might be cancer which would be confirmed by a biopsy, I asked what level of concern as I had seen the screen.  The Doctor was 99% certain, and had seen thousands of cancers on ultrasound. This was confirmed a couple of long weeks later, only at this point did one of our sons come to terms with the diagnosis, and was still asking for a second opinion. Lots of treatment followed by a scan in 2017 that said no cancer could be found.

When it came back in 2018, we were sat down by a very knowledgeable and sympathetic Doctor with a Macmillan Nurse, given the diagnosis of terminal cancer - just like in the movies.