Terminal cancer

My mum has terminal cancer.  She is just not accepting it.  Is there anyone with suggestion as to how I can approach this?

  • Hello Sultan and thank you for contacting the online community.

    I’m so sorry to hear about your mum, is it a recent diagnosis?

    Non-acceptance, or denial, is quite a common reaction. It may be upsetting for you, but denial is a strong coping tool and needs to be respected. It is important to listen to what your mum says. It may be that given time, she will accept her situation, but some people choose to stay in denial. If that happens, try to accept it.

    You can let your mum know that you’re there to listen if she does want to talk about how she’s feeling Sultan. She may not want to just now but at least she knows you’re there if she does in the future.

    If she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to people close to her you could let her know that she’d be welcome to talk to us. Some people are worried about upsetting friends and loved ones and so find it easier to talk to someone they don’t know. She can call in on 0808 808 00 00 (7 days a week, 8am – 8pm), web chat or email if she’d prefer.

    There are also resources such as booklets and online forums like the one we have for patients living with incurable cancer you could point your mum towards. She might find talking to others who are going through something similar helpful. (There’s also a forum for those supporting someone with incurable cancer here.)

    Sultan I appreciate it can’t be easy for you just now, how do you feel you’re managing? It goes without saying that we’re here for you as well of course. Please stay in touch if it helps to talk or if you have any further questions.

    Take care.

    Alex, Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days a week, 8am-8pm) or by email.