Telling family members who struggle with mental health

Dear Hol

Thank you for contacting Macmillan. I’m so sorry to read about your diagnosis and that you and your family are going through such a touch time just now. I’m really pleased you reached out today and will do my very best to support you and provide information that may be of some help.

Firstly Hol, I wanted to check in on how you are doing. Receiving a Cancer diagnosis and having ongoing tests to confirm the diagnosis can be both physically and mentally draining. I can see you care deeply for your parents and have some concerns around when to tell them. Give yourself time to process the information you have received; your well-being absolutely matters. Please know Macmillan supports anyone affected by cancer. You can contact us in a variety of ways including on our support line number 0808 808 0000 or through the chat option on our website. We are available 8am-8pm 7 days a week and will always provide a safe space to talk and a listening ear.

Hol, it’s an incredibly personal situation going through cancer. It may take some time to process before you feel you want to tell your parents. I can see you mentioned your mum suffers from anxiety and has recently commenced medication. This must be tough to manage. You clearly care deeply for your family. Hol, you will know your family best and what would feel like the right approach for you when you decided to tell them about your diagnosis. There are a variety of ways this can be done including sitting them down on the settee with a friend or family member beside you for support, you can make bullet points to address the key points you wish to tell them, you can write a letter. There isn’t a specific or easy way of telling loved ones about something so incredibly personal. Hol as a member of the Online Community you may already be aware of the groups, we have available to our customers. Did you know there is an ‘Emotional Support Forum’ where you will find a range of topics you can read and respond to as well as like minded people offering support. There is also our ‘Family and Friends Forum’ for your loved ones to receive the support they need.

This is clearly having an impact on not just your physical health but your emotional health. Please do reach out to your health care team assigned to your care to get answers to your questions, this is incredibly important to your well-being and journey. Did you know, we also have Cancer Information Nurse Specialists on our support line. You can contact them using the information above. They are incredibly supportive and would always do their best to listen and answer any questions you had.

I’m really pleased to see you have support from your colleagues and friends, this is so important just now. I can see you are the one who normally helps people, how lovely you are to consider other peoples needs. Sometimes its about paying that same attention to yourself so you can support your own well-being and be the best version of yourself you can possibly be. Your needs absolutely matter and you matter.

Hol receiving a cancer diagnosis isn’t your fault and isn’t something anyone would ever think would happen to them. What’s important just now is getting you the help and support you need. I can see you have Private medical care through work and you have questions around this. It may be worth reaching out to them, if you have contact information, so you can get those answers. You can also contact our Nurses to ask questions and get guidance on this. In addition to this I wanted to let you know about our sister site Be.Macmillan where you can access PDF’S, Audio, Booklets and more. Each booklet can be read online or you can order copies free of charge to your home address. There are a variety of topics including ‘How are you Feeling? The emotional effects of cancer’ and ‘Cancer and Relationships’. Each booklet has additional support information at the back of the booklet tailored to the topic. It may be useful to you and your family to access this whenever you feel ready.

Hol we have a variety of emotional support here at Macmillan. This includes our Emotional Support Advisers, Telephone Buddies and a partnership with BUPA where we can refer for free specialist counselling. We also have a variety of support for family and friends available.

Please don’t apologise for feeling Hol, I’m glad you feel you are able to reach out to us to talk about something so very personal. I can’t imagine what you are going through just now, please know you are not alone in this. Macmillan will always be available to support and listen to you and walk along side you on your journey.

I hope this information helps today and provides some comfort. Please do not hesitate to reach out for further information or support whenever you feel you need it.

Take the best of care,