Advice

Dear Abby

Thank you for your post. I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, it sounds as though she has been through an awful lot in the last few years. I can see you have noticed a decline in her emotional health since she received radiotherapy on her brain. Abby it can be incredibly tough when a loved one receives a diagnosis such as cancer. Supporting them through this process can also be tough on loved ones emotionally and physically.

Abby I’m really pleased you reached out to the Macmillan Online Community. Please know we support anyone affected by cancer. You mentioned feeling helpless and useless and as if you’re avoiding going round. I can see how much this is affecting you. Please know your well-being matters and Macmillan are here to support you whenever you need us.

Firstly Abby, there is plenty of support available to you all. Can I ask, does your mum have a specialist care team or Cancer Nurse assigned to her care? The reason I ask is because they will be available to support your mum through this, including emotionally. They may be able to support or offer information around treatment and recovery. Should the team be tough to get hold of, we have a team of specialist nurses available on our support line, they will always do their best to assist you. Abby if you’re noticing a decline in your mom’s health in any way, please do reach out to your moms GP/111/999 to get some support and advice.

Can I ask Abby, do you think your mom would contact Macmillan on the support line? There are several ways she can do this. We have a telephone support number 0808 808 0000, we also have online chat. We are available 8am-8pm 7 days a week. We have a variety of teams available on the support line including emotional support. Services include, referral to BUPA for a well-being assessment and information and support as guided by the customer. Callers will always be met with a listening ear.

Have you heard of our sister site Be.Macmillan? This is our information website that has a variety of mediums including PDF’s and booklets with a large range of topics including Cancer and Relationships, Looking after someone with cancer and How Are You Feeling? The Emotional Effects of Cancer. These can a be read online or you can order copies free of charge to your home address. In each booklet there are resources of support at the back with contact information.

Abby, I want you to know Macmillan are here for you also, I can see you’re finding this tough and are having trouble sleeping. Have you been to your GP at all? As they are the gateway to the services they can support and advised you with a variety of options. Its important you are taking care of yourself too. You also mentioned you are going to work feeling this way with lack of sleep. Have you spoken with your work about what’s going on just now? I appreciate this is an incredibly personal decision and one you must make for yourself. Getting support at work where perhaps they can give you some time off, make reasonable adjustments may help towards your well-being.

Abby do you care for your mother at all? The reason I ask is because people often don’t consider themselves carers when caring for family members, however large or small. If you think you are, it may be worth speaking with our Work Support Team. They support anyone affected by cancer in a work capacity, this includes carers and your rights. There are booklets available on our sister site named above, including ‘Questions to Ask about Work and Cancer’ among other titles.

Its incredibly important for you to know you are not alone in this Abby. I can see how tough things are for you and your family just now. Please know Macmillan will always do our best to support you whenever you feel you need it.

If you feel talking to someone may help, please do call us on the contact number or chat option above and you will be met with a kind voice and listening ear.

I hope this information helps today Abby.

Take the best of care.