My partner of 22 years passed away a few months ago. We have a beautiful daughter. I really don't want to live anymore but my dad killed himself and I don't want her to go through what I  went through. I don't know what to do 

  • Hello

    I am so sorry to hear that your partner passed away recently and that you lost your Dad to suicide.

    When those we love pass away it can be hard to see how possibly to carry on without them, and so I can really hear why you would be feeling as if you don’t want to live anymore Helpplease. It sounds as if this feeling is in battle with one that wants to be here for your daughter after what you went through, but that you’re feeling quite hopeless as to how to find your way through this pain to carry on?

    I am really glad you have reached out for support.

    May I ask, who have you been being supported by so far Helpplease? Have you been talking to anyone about how you are feeling at all? I’m conscious that talking may sound so tiny in the face of what you are going through, but it can be so important in allowing you space to be supported, and to get a clearer sense of what you may need to help you through. Please know we are here on the Macmillan Support Line 8am-8pm, 7 days a week 0n:0808 808 00 00 or webchat to provide emotional support and a listening ear, so do stay in touch as much as needed. There may also be support you can access through your local Macmillan Centre- just click here to see what’s nearby.

    Some also find that accessing specific bereavement support can really help, and there are a few ways you could do this. Was your partner cared for by the palliative care team or a local hospice may I ask Helpplese? If so, there may be support you can access through them. Do just contact the palliative nurses or the hospice to enquire.

    Ataloss is also a useful website which allows you to search for local bereavement support and resources, as well as offering the opportunity to talk to a Bereavement Counsellor via their live chat 9am-9pm, Monday to Friday.

    Although everyone is different in the type of support they need, if at all connecting with others who are coping with the loss of their partner would feel helpful at all Helpplease, our Bereaved Spouses and Partner’s Forum on the Online Community may be somewhere you wish to reach out also.

    It feels important to highlight also Helpplease that your GP is there to support you with your emotional and mental health as well as your physical, and so please do consider contacting them for support if you find that this feeling of not wanting to live anymore is continuing and concerning. They would want to know so they can help and discuss support options.

    It can be an understandable reaction to feel this way when the despair and pain we are facing feels as if it far outweighs the support and resources we have to cope Helpplease, but I would really hope that by accessing some more support as discussed above, you will begin to feel less alone and gradually be helped to find your way forward.

    I am conscious I have given you a lot of information here so do just take your time and please get back in touch if you have any questions or would like to talk this through more.

    Take care,


    Information and Support Adviser

    Remember you can also speak with the Macmillan Support Line team of experts. Phone free on 0808 808 0000 (7 days
    a week, 8am-8pm) or by email. ‘