For the last 5 or 6 days my husband has been having a bad time. I began to wonder how he could "go downhill" so fast, get "worse" so fast. We had been told he would suffer some after effects from the radiation, but he seemed very ill, too ill for just that. So I allowed myself to panic there, for a day or so. Then today at lunch, for the fourth day in a row, he threw up his lunch and had to go lie…
Sometimes words bubble up like spring water.
But this is blood. My world is bleeding
And nothing is whole any more.
Open wounds and white bones shining;
Pain as loud as semi trucks gearing down to go uphill.
I hear them at night, the sound comes
With the cold careless moonlight across the bed.
Numbers on their sides telling how much they can bear.
No numbers on me. Just the sign for infinity, I guess.
Woman holding up the roof…
So, Tuesday Chris had his last radiation treatment. It has not been easy for him. Because the radiation is targeted at his lower back, it has affected his stomach and he's experienced quite a bit of nausea. I went along with him yesterday because he did not have a good time driving home on Monday.
Then we saw the Chemo doctor. She was very good, thorough, and encouraging. He will not be put on "real" chemo right…
Things are chugging along. Chris had his visit with the radiologist this morning and he had his first radiation treatments right after lunch. They nuked his left shoulder, where they found "stuff", and then they nuked his lumbar region. The shoulder was a one shot deal, but he has 4 more scheduled for his lower back. Tomorrow and Friday and then Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday afternoon he goes to the chemo guy…
When I was girl growing up in the 50s, we used to read about how atomic energy would make electricity so cheap they wouldn't bother billing people - it was going to be free. We'd all have little personal helicopters and live in plastic houses under the sea.
And "they" would have found a cure for cancer.
My granny died of breast cancer in 1955, when I was 11. She had a terrible time of it, I guess. Once…
