Half Way Through!!!!

Hi to everyone, Well what can i say except its a total nightmare, never in my wildest dreams did i think it would be like this! Dont get me wrong i didnt think it would be a walk in the park but the side effects are just horrendous, i can hardly swallow now, mouth ulcers galore, thick mucous one minute then total dryness of the mouth, Am using my gastro PEG all the time for medication and the fortisips meal replacements and am missing my food soooooooo much, i try and have something then as soon as its in my mouth it tastes so awful and claggy, my taste buds have totally gone nothing tastes the same, i could put a heaped teaspoon of sugar in there and it wouldnt taste of sugar!!!!!!! Just spent nearly a week in hospital so much throat pain and sickness through the chemo, so now they ve halved the dosage for that and this week havent been so sick as last week! Its quite bizarre really there are all these older men sat there when i go in and they dont seem to be phased by any of this, i ask myself "am i a wimp" there s me in sheer agony and an emotional wreck lol, as my radiographer says my treatment is really radical and full on to blast the little buggers away, but god how much can one take i ask myself, three weeks to go and i cant imagine how i l get there, am just living from bed to hospital and hospital to bed!!!!! Anyway sorry for all the moaning and negativity but am at that stage now where thats all it is, i know when its over i l be back to my positive self, hope everyone else is coping better than me and any handy tips on the relief of severe mouth ulcers would be gratefully accepted, nothing im trying works, all they say is "its part of the treatment" ! Take care Luv n Hugs Jill x