I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last Wednesday and although it was a huge shock three days later I find that I have come to terms with it and that I just want to get it dealt with. So, here I writing to help me vent my frustrations, I feel like a grumpy old woman! The mammogram and scan showed that not only was there a lump that is cancerous but there is a shadow which needs to be investigated. This calls for a ‘core biopsy’ which at the initial consultation it was suggested that this could take place Mon/Tues this week and the follow up consultation on Wed – fine not too bad. The reality is that the ‘core biopsy’ is Friday and the follow is likely to be next Wednesday but this is not confirmed, resulting in surgery (lumpectomy or mastectomy, depending on results) w/c 15th again not confirmed. My real frustration is that when we saw the consultant we specifically asked about going private so that this was dealt with quickly, it’s nearly Christmas after all (see I still have my sense of humour!), only to be told that this would not speed things up because I would need to be referred to another consultant. Once in the system it appears that you cannot easily change, it is like turning a massive tanker.
I know that I will probably be laid up over Christmas and that I should take the opportunity to get organised now, I have two weeks and this is generally enough. But and this is a big but I cannot get motivated I find myself with a sense of inertia wanting to know what is going to happen before I plan anything. Am I alone in this?
FormerMember
hi tigger i understand exactly how you feel i went through the same feelings when i was diagnosised . i waited three weeks for my results because it was easter & my results had got stuck in the system . when i was told about the cancer at first things moved very quickly i was told on the friday & had the lumpectomy on the wednesday . but after that i had to wait a futher six weeks for the mastectomy because the cancer had come back as a rare one & they needed to consult a proff in leeds who dealt with this type . the waiting is the hardest you just want to get rid of this alien that is invading your body & eradicate it forever . you will probably be laid up for christmas & i can understand your lack of motivation ,just see it that this year you can have a quite christmas & i am sure your family will rally round to make things easier on you. & next year when every thing is over you can celabrate christmas in style . keep smiling with love & hugs theresa xxx
Hello there Tigger, you have just joined the 'club' that none of us thought we would ever belong to but you are in very good company!
You will find when reading through the blogs here that waiting is the biggest gripe we all have. To be told you have this nasty thing and then 'left' for weeks on end is almost unbearable but something you unfortunately start to get used to.
I totally understand your frustration and I know what you're saying about Christmas. I did my close family present shopping/writing out Xmas cards before my operation in October and this year we had already accepted the invitation to go to my daughter's for Christmas before I was diagnosed so I don't have to worry about 'doing' Christmas this year! BUT, I LOVE Christmas and because of my surgery I am unable to put up my decorations or go and choose a tree or even see the festive lights in the shops because I am house-bound at the moment, so it doesn't feel 'Christmassey' at all :(
I will be thinking of you and hoping that you get seen to sooner rather than later.
Sorry to hear your news, I was diagnosed last Christmas Eve and believe it or not Christmas was not as bad as you may think! Unfortnately the knock on was the extra delay in waiting for the biopsy results but I still had my mastectomy (with a reconstruction) on 17th Jan. Certainly cannot fault the NHS for any delay.
Don't be too pessimistic about being laid up over Christmas......I had a lumpectomy 7 years ago and was up and about really quickly....didn't even stay in hospital overnight! (didn't want to and they said I could go home I there was someone to be with me...they didn't know it was my dog).
When I had my mastectomy I was in 4 nights but that was only cos I had the recon at the same time....just overnight if not (a 50 minute op as opposed to about 5 and a half hours). That was on the 17th Jan and on the 25th I went to the final reductions sale in my favourite boutique......trying on clothes was much more fun than the exercises the physio gave me...admittedly I was a bit knackered but still out and about. Just do the bits you want to do and let people spoil you!!
Hi Tigger - I can certainly appreciate what a shock you've had, and God, what the waiting game does to you! I bet nearly every single one of us on this site has experienced what you are now going through. We cancer sufferers seem to get filled up with expectation and panic, which doesn't seem to convey itself urgently enough to the medical people who are in charge of our health. NO! You are not alone in your feelings of wanting to know exactly what your health position is before you can start to plan, and it will certainly not be easy to motivate yourself at this time. I found that when I was first told I had cancer, my head refused point blank to concentrate on any one thing, with the exception of what was going on inside of me. I did have a battle with myself at the beginning, because I knew if I carried on the way I was, my mind would burn itself out, and God knows what the outcome of that would be. There isn't a magical formula that I've ever heard of which can help us get up and go, but the alternatives, to me, are unthinkable. I wish you luck on your journey, with lotsa love kate xxxxxxxxx
