Firstly, I would like to apologise that as you know I can write pages just on one morning... this is the whole week so that means a few thousand words are needed.... sorry. I did think I should go back and delete a chunk but I don’t have the energy so I have packed off St Bernard Bernard dog with his Brandy to trawl the blog for casualties or boozers... hope you cope. I would recommend you skip to the bottom and just say Hi... (and please don’t tell me off cos I know already...) So... off we go....
Last we left Little My, she was rummaging through her goody bags from the poobaggers’ picnic.
This week she has mostly had too much of
a) Work
b) Headtilting
c) idiot colleagues
d) Sulking cats
Thursday was a Graduation event for the class that left in the Summer. We invite them back to school to get the certificates that arrive after they have left and to catch up and have a chat and see how they are doing at college. We light candles, make wishes, give speeches and have tea and cake etc. It is a lovely little ceremony and occasion, but guess who as head of department has to organise it? Yup. That’ll be me then.
Those of you who have read along the way will know I have some rubbish colleagues and some nice ones. The ones I am in charge of are rubbish.
So, we have some certificates that needed tutor comments etc. They were meant to be done before we broke up for the summer, but as I was otherwise engaged with a big linear accelerator machine and the ‘so discreet you’d hardly notice it’ chemo pump, they didn’t do them.
After the Oh my gods and what the hell happened etc, The nags of please do them over half term turn to please can you do them by Monday so I can verify them on Tuesday. I only have Tuesday, cos I don’t come in on Wednesday cos I am phasing back to work remember and then it’s the day they get handed out... I can’t work till midnight the night before anymore...
Oh Yes say the morons. We will do them.
Like that happened...
So Little My spent Tuesday copying and pasting certificates that someone had put in the wrong ones and not being able to verify them cos they hadn’t all been done and also looking for folders etc that had all been moved while she was away... and trying to sort out stuff and popping in sausages and having a disaster with a new bag she was trying out from her samples that didn’t do what it said it would! Ewwww is all I am saying.
Went to the meeting and said I have to go home now cos I have to come in on my day off to verify the certificates that have not been written and if I stay now, I won’t be in a fit state to do anything. Strop, strop, sulk sulk, pout, pout and out the door.
Oh we promise we will do them. ...
Come home. Cat runs out the house cos he is sulking at me cos I shut his tail in the door the other day by mistake! And now I am scarier than anything Odin could conjure up...
Wednesday Little My tries to lie in bed with the other cat who is too scared to go out as he is being bullied by a little cat who lives up the road. Other little cat of ours is too scared to come in cos I am in and I might shut his tail in a door again I guess... then P offers to take me out for coffee and as the coffee shop door is a little narrow and the bed won’t squeeze through it, I had to get up. It was lovely, so I am not complaining about getting up at all... but we walked down and P started on at me that he was worried that my energy was getting worse not better and would I talk to GC next week about it etc etc. I have been telling myself that all is well and I am improving. I don’t think it is anything more ominous than me doing too much, but it was a reminder that GC may well say something I don’t want to hear next week. I trust he will just say ‘Oh another Rolo. How lovely and some of his other sniggering comments he makes such as ‘nice groin’
So go in on my day off after lunch and I sulked and stomped around and made sure everyone knew that I had to come in etc etc. Spent hours and hours trawling through all the certificates with my boss who I tried to sulk with, but ended up laughing cos I can’t actually pout however hard I try.. Some had still not been written!!! Went home too tired. One cat ran out the door, other leaps into my arms...
GP phoned and freaked me out cos it was dinner time and why would the GP be phoning me in the evening eh? He was phoning to tell me they had been talking about me (gossips... I wonder if he told them I had made him blush about the chilli lubricants... I bet he didn’t snigger) and that he was booking me in for the scan we had talked about and he wanted to tell me in advance so I didn’t get freaked out when the letter came.
Ha ha. He freaked me out phoning me to tell me something so not to get freaked out... Nice man I guess for thinking of me, but he has to stop freaking me out. I shall try and embarrass him again in return. How I wonder... Let me count the ways... While I had him on the phone, I did manage to make him laugh describing the full on scary tablets he gave me that you have to stay standing up after taking... and asked if I really had to take them.. and we agreed I don’t have to take them till after the scan results. Hoorah! I can lie in on Sundays now hoorah!
Thursday... I was too tired when I got in and I remembered why I was phasing in to work cos I need those days to recover (ha ha, yeah, bleedin obvious I know)
Where are the folders asks LM? Oh in the cupboard... where is the key to the cupboard? This is one of lifes great mysteries such as Hilary’s lost pillowcase and the Bermuda triangle...
Eventually unscrews the hinges and looks in the cupboard. Not there. But we ordered them... One hour of tracing things back we discover that Little My emailing from her bed in the Summer saying order folders and someone saying yes I will right now... does not mean it got done.
Oh bugger. So we invent and scrabble around and find some samples and grub up enough bar one. No rivets for them cos someone transferred them to another box and lost the rivets in the process....
Go to print off certificates... photocopier broken.
Inserts for folders: lost.
Certificates have not been checked by the exams officer and someone gave out the back sheets already...
I am beginning to wonder how come my bit of the school is still standing after me being away... did they all just wander around in circles for a few months creating chaos? Seems so.
It is time for my lesson and I can’t quite see straight and there is so much to do and I was starting to sulk big time now and played a cancer card... so my lovely boss and friend come to the rescue. She says I’ll do the lesson and boss says he’ll sit in with them... I am meant to go and lie down and rest.... but there is too much to and no one around to do it. So... instead... (yeah, I know, I'm on the naughty step already)
I print off the Oxfam gift list and start signng the certificates and compiling the folders. Friend comes in to help. Teacher who is meant to be doing the music for the event denies all knowledge of it. Is there anything else left to go wrong? I expect there will be...
Ah, what’s that smell? Oh that’ll be baggy. I think he decided if I wasn’t going to go home, he would go on his own so had started to leave me.... run to loo, clean up. Decide head tilty woman has crap bags in every sense of the word and put on a good old trusty baggy bag.
I left a message at the meeting to ask my colleagues to stay and help set up for the evening cos as you know my sausages get a bit excited whenever I lift and carry and like to pop out to see what is happening.
Who said they were staying to help? Asks LM.
D said he would come half an hour early to help.
Anyone else? Errrr I could hang around for a bit.... the others didn’t seem keen.....
:o(
So it is 5.30pm. I have not stopped since 8.30am everyone is arriving in an hour... so I keep going trying to eat some pasta while walking over to the Hall to set stuff up. D comes and puts out the chairs for me and nice random people appear to help carry at the last minute and somehow the nightlights in the jars to light the way get lit just as people start to arrive and it is soooooo lovely to see everyone.
BUT last they saw me was the end of term when I shuffled in for an hour and couldn’t sit down and we didn’t know which way it was going... so I got so many head tilts you wouldn’t believe...and so many Oooooh you look soooooo wells... I did the match the head tilt angle to make me laugh. It is funny to do. Try it! Trouble is, I was soooo tired that when they asked How are you? I wasn’t my usual positive self which bugged me afterwards. Kids are great though cos they just hug you and chat on about themselves and hug you more and ask if you miss them and they don’t tilt heads... I wonder what age one becomes a head tilter? Hmmm....
One colleague arrives late and leaves early saying they are too busy to help clear up. Another just doesn’t turn up. Boss tells me to go home and leave others to clear up. (who would that be wondered LM ha ha) He ends up doing it (ha ha) He is planning a few ‘chats’ with a few people shall we say... (about bloomin time I say)
I get home very late and very very tired and flop into bed. Cat flees from the room.
BernardBrandy rescue centre here... plus loo break for those who don't wear Tenas...
Friday is meant to be my other day off. I have to go in for a lesson cos there was a mix up with the timetable. Go in late cos I am too tired and deserve it, about to go home when boss says can we chat for a bit before you go about tomorrow... and then end up spending the whole afternoon organising a conference we are hosting tomorrow.
I confess. I took the strong scary painkillers this afternoon to see me through it. And I know, I know I know... pass the naughty step.... and all that. Even I was cross with myself so don’t have a go cos I know it all already!
Oh and cos I came in and went home at an odd time, I met lots of parents I never see so got loads and loads of headtilters stopping me to ask how was I and they had been thinking about me and and .... tilty tilty!
Remember this big honour course thing I said I would do if I was still here to do it? The one I wrote the speech for?
Guess who found out she has 30 pages of forms to fill in for Monday and lesson observations happening and meetings with the boss of it who announced they are coming on Monday.... ? yup. That’ll be me then.
Guess who is hosting a conference tomorrow? Yup. That’ll be me then.
And the conference involves a load of colleagues from other schools who last saw me BC and have only ‘heard about it all on the grapevine’ so I am bracing myself for the big Headtilters’ Ball part 2.
Part of me is looking forward to seeing them. Part of me is dreading the tilts and how are you’s. Part of me just wants to go to bed and not get out of it for days and days... and Odin has offered to post me his god sized bed and oh how I would love to snuggle up in it just now and hide in there for a few days...
Next Friday I go back for my next check up with GC (or possibly FC)
I am a little nervous. Reading this, it is obvious why I feel like shit. But of course there is always the other reason.... I hope it’s for the obvious one.
I read Hilary’s status thing about spoons.
I would say... I’m all out of spoons. But I suspect I am beyond borrowing next week’s spoons and am now grubbing around in the back of the drawer for the old disposable forks and that.
And you know what?
I am still smiling and laughing. Why?
As you may have noticed, I like a bit of loony randomness around the place. I have a few friends who ‘get me’ in the 3 D world... and on here I thought I would have to behave and tone down my random thoughts and I never imagined in a million years I could get other so called perfectly normal people having a status update discussion on whether Odin has got the Midgard Serpent his dinner from Tescos yet or not....
For that, I love you. You, my dear Mac Friends are worth a thousand spoons.
Have a brandy on me... you deserve one!
Little My xxx
