Afternoon! Thought I should fill you in on the story so far. On my phone that has its own weird idea or what I am trying to say and keeps changing the words so apologies for lack of sense or random words. What's different you say? Anyway I got the taxi tot he hospital for 7am they sit you in a waiting room until your op and then you get your. Bed afterwards . So I sat in a little room in my gown, dvt surgical stockings and giant paper knickers . What a glorious sight! The knickers are see through so couldn't really see the point of them. Anyway there was me and 2 ladies. First lady goes down at 8.30am and I am next. The other woman moaned and moaned at me about awful the wait was and how awful the whole thing was and.not drinking etc and she would die if she didn't get some food etc she also sat and read me stories from the Daily Mail a d the Sun that I was meant to besuitably outraged about. Aarrgghh she also showed me lots of baby photos not sure whose they were I forgot to listen! More moans and moans about how bad her lot was and how long she had to wait etc eventually I found out what she was in for. She had been seeing SC cos of bowel urgency. He said nothing wrong so she insisted on him removing a skintag from her bum. 5 min op and then home after an hour!!!! SHe also never went to the loo once on the 8 hours I was there.. Urgency indeed! Sorry no paragraphs. On this phone So I was meant to go about 11 am and eventually went at 3pm!! Thought my head was going to implode with dehydration. Dr freaked me out talking about having to have another. Bag while I recovered from this one and having to cut my whole abdomen open maybe and maybe there would be too much damage for it to work and that SC was suggesting I come back I a few times for dilation under anaesthetic using St. Mark's dilation look it up on google haha anyway go for the op and. Ext thing I know I'm out and rigged up to a morphine pump and wheeled up to ward. Nurse says it went ok but didn't know what that meant so had a feel and there was a dressing and no bag!!!! My bum was bleeding so I guessed he had got rid of the polyps I had dangling (sorry for graphic details) and probably stretched. One old senile lady ext to me... Wonder of she just roves hospital wards cos Ems had one too. Real old poor me I'm more I'll than you lady opposite and the other lady refused to go home till she had an op so been here 2 weeks! Apparently she gets bunged up at home. I tried to joke with her about what she was eating at home did t work! Hurt like buggery last night despite morphine at the click of a button. Wasn't allowed a nothing but sips of water. Had a glug instead and was promptly sick! One day I'll listen and do as I'm told haha yeah right... Woman opposite me gets. Devoid. Is she might have a temporary bag while her bowel heals so just now I had my dressing changed. Which is packed with gauze so have to pull it out and stuff it in again which made me cry a bit. Cos it hurt and she. Looked like she had seen a ghost when they drew back the curtains!!! Haha I told her it was fine . Of course I no longer have my invincibles so have to be careful with my lies cos my pants will catch fire now :D
Saw SC he said have you got a present for me? Oh what's that? Says LM a fart! Says SC hahaaaa no farts. He pats my wound OUCH and says we have to be careful with you and keep an eye on you till you pass wind! Haha are they going to have a bum inspector sniffing?? He said he thought my bum was reasonably ok (what's that mean eh?) and that he had cut off the polyps and sent biopsies off in case they were cancerous eeeek! But all ok as long as I fart!! Had to take the morphine pump off cos it was leaking in my arm and my hand was swelling up. Boo! Was enjoying my narcotics!
So my lovelies I am so far so good and asked if I could go for a walk in the gardens tomorrow hold your horses she said . So maybe a wheelchair with my mate will do the trick . Now, better try farting or I'm In Trouble oh and how do you gift wrap a fart??? Thanks so much for all your good wishes and love and hugs and giggles it helped so much and I felt so loved :) P is texting me haikus about the catsand the birds and things :) Hilary got wind (snigger) of this and has been writing bum haikus for me. There's always one..... Hugs all round little My xxx
FormerMember
Beans, beans, the musical fruit ... But I suppose you can't have beans yet, so that's no use to you.
Here.
Little My had a bit of a moan
To the doctor: "When can I go home?
"C'mon, doc, have a heart!"
He replied: "When you fart."
Now the ward is a BioHaz zone.
Stretching the facts a wee bitty bit, but eh, you're used to stretches.
I think you are being (headtilt) very brave, and it sounds like it all hurts like buggery - um, possibly literally - but I suppose the only way out is through, and all that. (Again, possibly literally.)
Hugs from me too LM, I haven't Hilary's way with words so no cruel poems .... yet!
Look after yourself and remember the team is still there in diosguise.
BTW, My disguise as a patient wasn't very wise. Got wheeled down to the operating theatre for a hystorectomy, and only just escaped in time. I'm a coward really, should have gone for the op then I could keep an eye on you in the ward!
Kärlek ochmjukakramar,
Odin xxx
PS. Well I know you like them, isn't Google translate good! X
Come on little dyson how hard can farting be? We are all here waiting in eager anticipation with pegs on our noses and they really hurt.Can't believe how lucky you were to get paper knickers even if they are see through I didn't get any only the stockings so it was a bit draughty.Guess the Dr did the usual of giving you the fear of god or in their terms the worst case senarion edging teir bets so to speak thank goodness it didn't come to that bad enough as it is.Definately no lies as. Paper pants burn very quickly so for once must do as your told but I won't hold my breath on that one but remember we are all watching.good they got rid of the poly pusses whilst they were up there so remember copious amounts of drugs plenty of rest let's hope you don't fart rolos and it's hard talking with a peg on your nose even more difficult getting pegs on the cats,ravens,serpents and horses big gentle cautious hugs Cruton xxxxxxx Oh and no tilting you are very brave x
Oh my, Little My ....... it amazes me how you can sound so cheerful after that surgery ( oh, there's a Dyson advert on just now ! ) Well you certainly had a long wait before actually going to Theatre, not helped by your companion - Moaning Minnie - maybe if you had flashed baggy at her she would have shut up ? ! Anyway, it's all over with now and you can hopefully relax before they get you up and out of bed, so make the most of it.
Oramorph ...... I had that and developed quite a taste for it, they used to give me huge bottles of the stuff after the RT treatment and it works. By the way, you always get one of those on every Ward, we had one set the fire alarm of in the early hours because she wanted to get out ....... great when great hulks of firemen walk in when all you want to do is kip.
Don't forget that ' Beanz Means Fartz ' when you can eat something ......... !
You are a very brave little lady, take it easy and rest.
Don't expect me to be so expressive from my hospital bed next week! Well other than expressing a fart.
I wonder what pain relief I will be on? Last time I had an epidural, which was nice until they removed it, then it was oramorph.
How are you expected to fart when only having sips of water? Are you taking a big gulp of air with every sip? Anyway, how do you prove you've let one go? Have you got to perform for them, getting the bed sheets to rise or such like?
I had to sneak back into the waiting room to get my rods back for my fishing match tomorrow. Luckily nobody had spotted them behind the wheelie bin. Oh and by the way, it was not me that smudged Odin's lipstick, I've stopped kissing him.
